Black Ink [Harry Styles]

Chapter 42

Harry

I have been pacing up and down the foyer for the last half an hour. Every now and again I check the time on my phone or look out the window towards the gate. I run my hand nervously through my hair and straighten my shirt. I anxiously take a moment to check myself out in the hallway mirror, and I hope I look okay. I just threw on a vintage Eagles t-shirt, some ripped flares and my old vans this morning. My longer curls are driving me crazy so I have clipped them back.

I still can't believe Nessa messaged me yesterday, I think my heart stopped beating for a minute. Thank god I got back from LA a couple of days ago. I wanted to be back sooner but had to tie up a few loose ends. I'm freaking out, wondering why she wants to talk to me, and I can't help hoping she has forgiven me or would like to try again.

I am nudged from my thoughts by the gate buzzer, shit she is here. I slowly open the front door and see her walking up the driveway. She looks so fucking beautiful in her tights jeans and big glasses; she doesn't even have to try to look good.

"Hey Harry" she says as I stand aside for her to pass.

Fuck I have missed the way she says my name.

"Hi Nessa. You look good" I greet her back.

I naturally lean into give her a hug without thinking, but she steps back immediately and nervously bites her lip. I am an idiot, she doesn't want me to touch her.

I try brush over it and say "Should we go through to the kitchen", she nods and follows me.

We walk into the kitchen and I turn around and I ask "Would you like some tea?"

"No, I'm okay, maybe some water?" she says and I grab her a bottle out the fridge and hand it to her, looking at Nessa properly for the first time. I realise in shock, that she has definitely lost weight and he has dark rings under her eyes, she looks exhausted, Is this because of me? Did I do this to her?

I try remain upbeat "Oh I made a carrot cake yesterday, would you like a slice", I offer lifting the cover of the cake stand revealing the sweet treat, Nessa is next to it and looks at it.

Suddenly she pales and she just says "bathroom" before running out of the room towards the downstairs guest toilet.

I watch her rush out the kitchen in confusion. What the fuck was that? Should I check on her? I decide to give her a moment.

A few minutes later I hear the toilet flush and the door open before she walks back into the kitchen. She has obviously splashed some water on her face and the colour is returning. She looks worried though.

"Sorry about that. The smell just turned my stomach" she offers.

Before I can respond, she takes a deep breath and says "Um Harry. I came here to tell you something and I need to get it out before I lose my nerve completely".

She is tensely fidgeting with her bag, and I can see her hands shaking.

"What is it Ness? Are you okay?" I ask, starting to worry.

She suddenly unzips her bag and takes out a piece of paper and looks me in the eye, I can see tears in hers

"Um Harry, I have no idea how to tell you this, but...but.. Im...Im pregnant" she stammers as she hands me the paper in her hands. I take it and look, it's a sonogram.

I don't say a word and just stare at it in shock.

"I found out two weeks ago, and I went for the three-month scan yesterday. Harry, I'm having twins. We are having twins" she says the last sentence more determinedly.

I stare at the scan for a few minutes and don't says a word, a million thoughts going through my head. I eventually look at her, her beautiful eyes are huge and worried.

I don't know where to start but say "I thought you were taking birth control?".

I see an emotion, maybe sadness, cross her face, probably because those are the first words that have come out of my mouth since she told me.

But she answers "Yeh I was. The doctor thinks it probably happened when I was sick with the flu. The antibiotics counteract the pill. I'm so sorry, I feel like such an idiot"

I just nod and then say "Its both are fault Nessa. You can't get pregnant alone" but I feel like a real asshole because even I don't think I sound convinced.

Nessa looks so tiny and worried. But I watch her lay her small hand on her stomach protectively.

I don't think she has even realised she has done it but it seems to give her assurance and she says "Listen Harry. I didn't do this on purpose to trap you into supporting me. I thought I may want kids one day but not for a while and this wasn't the plan. I came here to tell you because you are their father, but I am not asking you for anything. You can be involved or not. I can do this alone and I don't need your money but of course I would love it if you would like to be a part of their lives. I know the last time we saw each other was a mess, and I don't know what we could be or what this pregnancy means for us but I had to tell you. I have had a couple of weeks to think about it and I think you deserve some time to think too".

I again nod but then realise I need to say something "I'm glad you told me Nessa and I agree I just need some time to process this".

She nods sadly, probably disappointed on some level with the way I have reacted, picks up her bag and starts to walk out of the kitchen.

I suddenly remember her rushing out of the room earlier to use the bathroom so I ask "Nessa, how are you health wise though? Is the pregnancy going okay?".

She looks surprised I asked, which makes me feel like a shit person but in true Nessa style she answers kindly "I am really tired and I have some morning sickness, which actually lasts all day most days, seems to be really bad right now hence me running out the room after the carrot cake" she smiles weekly.

I nod lamely as we walk out of the house and I can see she is calling an Uber.

"I can drop you off at home if you would like" I offer.

But she shakes her head and says "No don't worry, I think its best I uber".

Fuck this is a mess, she doesn't even want to be in the car with me.

"Well my ride is here. Give this all some thought and let me know what you would like to do or if you just want to talk" she says giving me a small wave and turning around.

I notice her hand is shaking a bit and I realise she is just putting on a strong front and trying to act like everything is okay but that isn't the case.

"Bye Ness" I say quietly as I watch her getting in the car, having no fucking idea what I should do.