My Delusion 《Completed ✔)

Chapter 16《 HELPLESS AROUND HER》

Finn
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I have never felt this much hurt before. Right now I am feeling like a defeated person. I very well knew that she has been doing this since we married then why am I feeling pathetic this time. She had never given me the right of a husband , she doesn't even considered me her husband then why do I feel this pain by remembering that she was kissing someone else.

May be because this time situation were different.
This time the scenario is totally opposite to what it was earlier.
Earlier she doesn't care for me ,so I didn't bother about what she was doing  but this time she started caring for me . She started liking me . She started making me feel that I am important for her .
She planted a seed of hope inside me , that we could be together and could be a happy couple .
But as she had planted that seed just like that she herself destroyed it .

Right now I am driving back to home after drinking for one hour. I thought that maybe this alcohol would help me forget her betrayal.
I don't know why this feels like betrayal this time.

When I reached home I headed towards my room when I heard sound of sobbing .
I stopped there and noticed the sound was coming from Rossie's room. When I peeped inside, I saw she was sitting on the floor her curled to her knees and  crying .
I don't know for how much time she had been crying like this.

At that moment I forgot everything she had done .
I don't know why I become so helpless in front of her .Why she is my weakness.

I rushed towards her.

She looked up by the hearing the door open .Her hairs were messy and eyes were red and swollen. I had never seen her this way. She looked pathetically weak.
Before I could say something she rushed to me and wrapped her hands around my neck and started crying bitterly. I didn't reciprocated. I was just standing there firmly.
She tip toed higher to held me tight. I can feel her fast breath on my neck.
Her tears were cold on my neck, creating a shivering sensation to my whole body that was urging me to wrap my hands around her and sooth her in every way possible.

Then she nuzzled deep in my neck, her lips touched my neck and I melted their.
I put my hands on her back bringing her closer to me while she kept crying.

We kept standing there like that.
Hugging each other.
Suddnely the reminiscence of her kissing him came in front of my eyes.
I tried , I tried hard to brush it off, but couldn't. I couldn't . That memory took over me and I jerked her away from me.

She was hurt by my sudden reaction but so was I.

I said in a hoarse voice , trying to hide my emotions  ," Don't cry like this ,  it is not good for baby's health."

She stuttered," I-I am sorry . I-I didn't k-know it w-was Jack . I-I was d-dreaming about y-you. A-and I thought I-it was you. I didn't do t-that intentionally. F-forgive me ." Then she covered her face with her hands and stared sobbing .

I can't see her crying like this. Something inside my heart pinched me sharply and urged me to wrap her in my embrace.
I wanted to believe her but I don't know why my conscience was not letting me believe.

There was a war between my heart and mind,  my heart wanted to sooth her, to hug her tightly and kiss her and tell her that I trust her but mind was thinking otherwise.

But I can't see her like this . It kills me when I see her crying .

Oh God!! Why am I so helpless??.

In the war between heart and mind, heart won it .

I said ," Okay , first wipe your tears and have eat something ."
She stared me .

I place my hands on her shoulders and led her to bathroom and told her to wash her face.

After that I led her to dinning table to have some food because I know she haven't eaten anything since evening.

We both sat at the dining table and started having her food. She was still upset .

And I don't know why I always forget my emotions in front of her. My willpower behaves like a lost puppy in front of her.
I should be angry from her but here I am feeding her food.

We ate our food in silence .No one spoke a single word.

Actually I didn't have anything to speak because I can't tell her that I believe her because I don't.

After having food we were about to go towards our room when a she held my hand . I turned around, she was staring me with her gorgeous emerald eyes, which were like an ocean ,in which I wanted to wander for rest if my life .

Oh gosh!!! Why am I praising her eyes ??
I am angry ...duh!!!

She said, "Have you forgiven me?"

I replied emotionlessly,"It is pretty late now .We will talk about it tomorrow. "

She then asked nervously, "Can I sleep with you?"

"No , I am doing some office work now . I will sleep late and it will disturb your sleep. " I replied .

Bruhh!!!!!!!! It was very lame excuse . She must have understood that I am making an excuse. It was 1 at night , who work this late.
But I just don't want her presence around me so that my mind could process properly. Because when she is around me I forget everything . I can't forget that she kissed someone else.

I headed towards my room without looking at her.

I sat on the bed and my mind started wandering about the possibilities why she kissed him.

What if she had got her memory back and now she is fooling me to get money from me ?? No this can't happen .
If her memory would have been back then she wouldn't behave so politely with me.
What if she was in love with Jack . No ! No! No! .....
I don't know what to think .

With all these thoughts I fell asleep.

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