Currently sat on my toilet with my best friend pressing his forehead on my bathroom door, I'm holding the pregnancy test between my fingers, desperately trying to get the right angle so I don't pee all over my hand.
"Yes Y/N, if you give him a negative result in front of everyone maybe he will finally realise some things are better done behind closed doors, without an audience.
Sighing harshly, I force out a pee, just to hear Jimin giggle at the sound.
"It's not funny Jimin!"
"I know it's not that. I just never thought I'd be in the bathroom with my best friend whilst she pees on a stick." Now giggling with him, I pop the cap back on and set it on the counter before cleaning myself up.
"You can turn around now."
Hugging me from behind as I wash my hands in the sink, he gives me a sympathetic smile through the mirror. I know he's torn. Tae and I are both his friend, but he sees where I'm coming from. When Tae sets his mind on something he won't let it go, even if it means he can get a little pushy.
"How long does it take?" He asks as he peers down at the test, a little hour glass flashing in the result window.
"I think about 3 minutes." I shrug as I dry my hands.
Nodding in response, he gets comfortable on the edge of the bath, grinning at me as I look at him in confusion.
"What's funny?"
"Nothing." He shakes his head. "I was just thinking about when I was trying to convince you to go out with me when we were teenagers. Now look at us. Don't get me wrong, you know I love you, but just not like that. Now the thought of it is kinda icky."
"Icky?" I laugh as I perch next to him. "I think you need to get laid Jimin if you think I'm icky. How long has it been?" I tease, nudging him with my shoulder.
"Not long." He smirks at me causing me to gasp.
"We hiding things from each other now?? I'm hurt Jimin!" I clutch my chest, pretending to be offended.
"No it's not like that. It's just different and I'm not even sure myself of what it even is. I just don't want to go blabbing about it until we have figured out ourselves what we are even doing."
"I get it." I nod. "So I suppose asking you to distract Sarah away from my husband is a no then?"
"Why would you need me to do that?" He furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
"Hellooo, have you not seen Malibu Barbie sitting at my dining table? She's stunning! And she works for him. It's ultimate erotic novel plot. Lonely buxom blonde, moves to the big city and has an insanely sexy boss. The book's already on Wattpad!"
"You read too much." He chuckles at me as I pout beside him. "Sorry babe but I'm off the market."
"Fine." I huff out before standing to my feet. "Maybe I can ask Yoongi."
"NO!" Jimin yells as he jumps up beside me. "I mean... I hear he's seeing someone also."
"You guys need to stop hiding shit from me." I scowl at him as he lifts the test up.
"Says you." He cocks his eyebrow, waving the negative result in my face. "Let's go."
Gripping my hand as he leads me back downstairs, he gives me a comforting smile before handing me the test. Time for the performance of a life time. Showing emotion won't be tough however, I am actually upset, just not with the result. He promised me he would back off and stop putting pressure on me but instead he's upped the anti, if making me take a test in front of everybody isn't pressure, then I don't know what is.
"Princess! What took so long? I was about to send out a search party." Tae giggles as Jimin and I enter the room.
"We were having a chat." Jimin answers on my behalf before resuming his seat.
"Well, is it good news?" Tae grins as he reaches for the test in my hand, his smile instantly fading as he reads the words not pregnant.
"Sorry Tae." I mumble as I start to clear the dirty dishes from the table, not failing to notice the looks of sympathy being thrown my way.
"Maybe do it in private next time?" Jimin snaps at Tae, causing him to look at him in shock.
"I just thought-"
"Well you thought wrong!" He quips again as I ignore the pair and excuse myself to the kitchen. I know Jimin means well, he thinks he's doing me a favour by making Tae feel bad but seeing the disappointment on Tae's face is absolutely breaking my heart.
I love this man with all my being, but yet I still can't find it in myself to tell him the truth.
Focusing on the dirty dishes piled up in the sink, I ignore the tears spilling from my eyes. They don't deserve attention, they are there because of my wrong doing, no one else's.
"Princess." Tae whispers behind me from the entrance to the kitchen. He can sense I'm upset and he thinks it's because of him. I can hear the guilt in his tone.
"I'm okay." I assure him, my thick voice giving away that I'm actually not, even if my back is turned it's obvious I'm crying.
"Baby It's okay. We can just keep trying it's no big deal." Pressing his body into mine, encasing me in his arms I break down. Riddled with guilt as he apologises for something I am doing wrong.
"It's not that Tae." I sniffle as I lean back into his chest, enjoying his warmth.
"I embarrassed you didn't I?" He whispers into my skin, resting his lips on my shoulder.
"Sort of. I just don't like to be pressured Tae. I feel like a disappointment for not giving you a child. I just wish you would let me go at my own pace, let me buy the test, let me surprise you. I just feel that you are taking complete control of the situation, making me feel like it's a duty I must fulfil. I'm not enjoying it Tae."
"Okay." He nods. "I'm sorry." Still resting his chin on my shoulder, I feel my gut wrench when I notice a tear slipping down my skin. His guilty tears now being shed a long with my own.
Both crying as we hurt each other in completely different ways.
The guilt making me think that maybe I should just give him exactly what he wants.
Before he finds a woman that will.
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