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Now don't get me wrong, I do love my mother dearly, but Jesus Christ is she hard work!! Although I do consider myself lucky to have such a laid back mum, sometimes she's a little too laid back... like comment on my sex life, laid back.
But I know she is going to be elated by the news of becoming a grandmother. Either that or have a mental breakdown and fall into a midlife crisis.
I'm still excited for us to tell our parents though, because then that makes it real.
Following behind Tae as he skips up the stairs of their porch, he stops before opening the door, pulling me in front of him and encasing his arms around my waist. His hands automatically resting on my stomach as I pushed the door open.
"Muuuum?? OH MY GOD!!!!!" Squeezing my eyes shut tight enough for it to feel my face could fold in half, Tae spins us both so that we are now facing the door again.
Fumbling noises behind us indicating that my mum is hopefully dismounting Tae's dad and climbing down off of the kitchen table.
"Hey kids!" She calls out gleefully, neither of us wanting to turn around in fear of seeing any full frontal nudity.
"Mum seriously?!" I whine as Tae slowly turns us, her tying her robe as we do.
"What? It's my house! My husband! You should have knocked!" She shrugs as Tae's dad comes around the corner, fully dressed this time.
"Hi guys." He says sheepishly taking a seat at the disgraced table.
"Hi dad." Tae grins at him, satisfied that he finally has something to tease his dad about.
Taking a seat at the table I keep my chair scooted back, trying to avoid touching any of the surface that is now tainted by my mums bare ass.
I swear, if I see a pubic hair I'm outta here!
"What's with the visit guys? Everything okay?" My mum asks us, wiping down the table before setting down the coffee pot on a placemat.
"Yeah we're fine." Tae smiles at me. "Perfect in fact."
"We have a lot of news actually." I smile back at him before turning to my mum. "Lots of gossip too."
"Ooooo I love me some gossip, spill!" She grins excitedly as she wriggles in her seat.
"Okay." I nod before I start. "Jungkook is back, we are friends now and he and Tae actually get along really well. He apologised for everything and we're cool. Hobi is dating a prostitute, Jimin and Yoongi were in a polyamorous relationship with a woman that turned out to be Jungkook's ex wife. She was pregnant but after a test it revealed neither Jimin or Yoongi are the father so they left her and are now in a relationship with each other. Did I miss anything?" I turn to Tae.
"I fired my assistant." He adds, taking a sip of his coffee.
"Oh yeah that too." I nod.
"And one more thing." He grins at me before we both turn back to face our parents.
"We're pregnant!!" We say in unison, Tae's dad instantly jumping to his feet whilst my mum just stares at us, not moving an inch.
"Congratulations!" His dad beams, coming over to hug us.
After hugging him back I turn to my mum, watching as she stares blankly into space.
"Mum?"
"Jimin's gay???!!!!!!" She screeches, dropping her head into her hands.
"Mum did you not just hear? We said we're having a baby."
"Yes congratulations!!" She says finally embracing us both. "I just can't believe it. Not my Chim Chim, he was supposed to be my backup in case your dad ever leaves me." She pouts.
"Mum.."
"I'm so happy for you though my baby." She grins, cupping her hands on my stomach. "How far along are you now?"
"Three months." Tae answers on my behalf, his dad disappearing into the living room.
"Are you gonna find out the sex?" She asks, looking between us.
"I don't think so." I shrug. "I think it will be nice to be surprised. But I think I've decided on a home birth."
"Just like I had." She smiles. "Granted I didn't mean to. I thought I just needed to poop and plop there you were."
"Plop?! Please don't tell me..." I whine as Tae giggles beside me.
"Oh no I caught you." She waves it off as Tae's dad comes back in the room holding a bottle of blue label Johnnie Walker whiskey.
"I've been waiting a long time to open this son." He grins at him before opening the lid.
Pouring out two glasses he grabs Tae's hand, pulling him to his feet before handing him a glass full of the golden liquid.
"You're going to make an incredible father my boy." He smiles at him before clinking their glasses together. An obvious sparkle in both their eyes as they fight back the tears.
Taking a sip they both eye each other before leaping towards each other for a bear hug, their sniffles filling the room as I observe my mum rolling her eyes.
"Fucking pussy's"
"Mum!" I scold her again, watching our men have their moment together.
"What?! It's not like they gotta do anything. Congratulations, your balls work! Just wait until the labour, in fact, I'll place a bet with you." She grins leaning across the table. "I bet you a thousand that husband of your faints the second the baby starts to breach."
Looking up at Tae who is now a blubbering mess a harsh sigh leaves my lungs before looking back at her. "No bet."
"Because you know I'll win." She grins again, tilting her mug towards me before gulping down the hot liquid.
Sitting back by my side, Tae buries his face in my neck, the smell of whiskey doing absolutely no good for my morning sickness.
"See." My mum says pointing at Tae. "Pussy."
"He's just happy mum." I correct her, caressing his hair.
"And besides." Tae adds turning his head towards her. "You're not mum anymore. You're grandma."
"What the fuck you just call me??!!!"
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Ahhh mum, love her.
Anyone read the chapter title the way it was intended? If you got it leave a comment 😘😘😘🎶🎶
