Taming Your Heart

Thirty-eight

I wake up with a full bladder and the ill feeling in my stomach. I shouldn't drink like that. After hearing him out, a drank about half of the bottle of the Scotch. I can still fill that burning sensation on my tongue.

If i keep torturing myself like this, I'm going to be dead from excessive alcohol. God bless me pls...forgive my sins.

I want to pee so bad, but i didn't want to get up from this comfy blanket and bed. But i have no choice.

After nearly killing myself, i got out from the shower. I thought it was a good idea to treat my hangover with a cold shower. I'm never going to take a shower in hangover.

I wrapped myself in a towel, and quietly padded out from his bedroom. But no luck for me. I found him, coming towards me with a food tray. What a gentlemen?

His smile widened a bit, as he took my appearance in notice. I can feel his gaze burning holes in my wet body...and drunk soul. I want to throw myself over him, and pin him to wall next to me.

"Someone is looking so hot and wet today" he spoke, in my ear,my body shivers.
"Yes...umm what? Wet...why?" i stuttered, regaining control

"uhh Ohh Renne, i was talking about the shower. You and your dirty mind needs some rest today. Come with me" he dragged me inside.

He put the tray on the table, and came back with my cloths. I got dressed and eat my breakfast. He gave me medicines and orange juice afterwards.

He put me in the bed, and laid next to me. Drawing figures on my back. It helps me shut my over thinking, and my racing thoughts.

"Renne....why did you asked about me not loving you?" he asked.
"i don't remember, are you joking" i faked.
I can't accept it. My drunk ass didn't know how to behave around him. I loose my shit easily. I told him so many things which i never discussed to anyone.
"I know you remember everything. You don't need to hide anything. I know everything. Accept it pls" he tilt my face, so i can look in his eyes.

"Yess!" i replied .

I can't lie, staring in his eyes, laying in his arms, so close that i can see his pulse racing and feel his fast beating heart

"Then why did you lie. Are you ashamed of me, Renne?" his question hurt me

"No.. Its not like that Lucas. I am scared. After so many things..you are the only good thing happened to me. I'm afraid that one day you leave me alone like others. I'm afraid to love. To fall for you, to make scenarios, think about our life .....to have kids our home...and..... So many things Lucas. But its too hard to not fall for you. I'm already fell in," i breathed out.

He smiled in response. Kissing my forhead. He took my face in his hands.

"I'm not that good ,Baby. I will never give up on you. I will try and try to get better for you. I will never leave you Renne. You know I've been dying to say this to you....I Love You Renne. " he smiled in response.

I can't believe. Is this true. I want to hear it again. Maybe i should record this moment in my phone. I can die with the happiness.

"Are you sure..is it a joke" i questioned, stil can't believe.

"Serene Brown, I Love You. I don't know how to do things in a relationship..but one thing is clear... I'm always going to love you. " he waited, for my response.

I can't believe my ears...but i trust the look in his eyes. They never lie.

I kissed him hard, getting up on his body, pinning him down on the matteress. He loves me...he loves me.  I am on cloud nine right now, and even i can jump from there out of my madness.

We got interrupted with the loud ringing sound of my phone. I back off breahlessly, swiping up the screen.

"Yes Cathy...what you want?" i asked.

She was in knee deep shit of chaos. She is planning the whole wedding by herself. This thing is driving her crazy. She asked if i can meet her today evening, which i said yes. After talking a few minutes, we ended the call.

"I'm going to put your phone on silent mode. This fucker interrupts me everytime, i try to take things any further" his voice full of irritation.

I laughed and hoped out of bed. I have to get a few things from the markrt and then pick Hera from her school.
Lucas joined me in the shopping, and then left for his meeting in the office.

I told the driver, and we got back to the restaurant. Cathy is sitting on the table, flipping through a pile of magazines or booklets...i don't know.

She was selecting the decoration themes, while i helped her with choosing the reception avenue.

"Cathy why you getting married ?" Hera asked.

I want to ask the same. I know Jared is a really good men for her. But its only been a few months since they know each other and started dating.

"Cause i want to Hera. And you are going to be my bautiful flower girl..ok" she replied, avoiding the question.

Hera grinned and started playing with her clay. I took Cathy a few tables away, so i can ask her in private.

"Tell me the truth Cathy. Why ?" i asked her.

She smiled and sat me down on the chair.

"Cause i love him Renne and He loves me too. I know its too early and I'm looking stupid..but i want this. He wants this too. I feel like he is the one i needed ,and so do him. We both completes each other. That's the hurry. I'm not going to waste anymore time. I want him as my husband, i want to have kids, i want to live my rest of life with him" she told me, smiling.

I cant believe. My best friend is so deep in love. she's lucky she found her soulmate. I'm too happy for her. I don't know if i can love Lucas so deep and so true. But i love him..thats the truth. And he said he loves me too.

I told Cathy about today's morning. She was jumping with excitrment. She was already started planning my wedding along with her...but i stopped her. Its just the starting...i need time. We need time.

I told her that we were only just living together..nothing more. We only kissed and make out a few times..but not that intimately. We didn't had sex. And this makes me Embarras.

She didn't believe me. knowing his Casanova status..she can't believe this. But this is true. He said we will lead further, once i got prepared with all. Mentally and physically. Now i think... I am ready. I can't just play it in my head and torture myself. I can't satisfy my self with this continues need for him. I need him...i need Lucas and he needs me😘

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