Being honest I've had feelings built up for the longest time, I've been used to holding in my feelings since forever. I've learned how to control my feelings around someone, I've lied so many times just so that people knew I was okay. I hate it, a lot, I hate having to hold in my feelings. I hate to think that I need to rely on someone to make me feel better. Especially if that someone is Colby.
It was a late night at the trap house, everyone was out filming and I was alone. I recently haven't been feeling myself, not as a physical appearance, but as mentally. I've lost all motivation and happiness.
I softly cried to myself thinking no one was home but unfortunately someone was here, my boyfriend Colby. He was quietly walking up the stairs thinking I was peacefully sleeping in bed. But, when he opened the door he found the love of his life sobbing into a pillow. He quickly walked to my side pulling me into his lap as he sat on the bed.
"Princess? What happened? Are you okay?" He quickly asked as he looked around the room.
"I'm fine, I'm perfectly fine, I'm a-o-k!" I said trying to smile while tears were still streaming down my face.
"Darling, it's okay not to feel okay." He whispered to me holding my hand.
My lip quivered as I collapsed into Colby's arms completely losing myself to the sadness. I let everything that I've had built up, out of my eyes. I wouldn't be surprised if the house was filled with my salty tears. Colby held tight to me making sure I felt safe in every way, he made sure that I was perfectly fine and comfortable crying in his arms. He made me feel happy even if my whole body told me no.
"I love you so much baby." He whispered into my ear.
"You deserve nothing but happiness my sunshine." He cooed into my ear.
It went on like this for an hour, crying, whispers of sweet nothings in my ear, it was like this for an hour. Eventually everyone had arrived home and Colby made sure not a single soul walked through our door. After I finally was calmed down he softly leaned my head up, carefully wiping away my dried tears, placing a kiss on my forehead, lips, cheeks, and nose.
"Princess, I don't want you to hide your feelings from me. Please let me help you whenever you feel sad. I want you to be able to rely on me for your feelings." He whimpered to me.
I nodded quickly hugging him before letting out a raspy thank you.
"Your tired, let's get you into bed?" He asked nicely.
I nodded and before he placed me into the bed, I pulled him into me placing a very loving and passionate kiss to him. He was surprised at first, but he kissed me back laying me into the bed. He softly kept kissing me as I continued as well. He pulled away and I frowned.
"Sweetie, your still in a vulnerable state, I promise tomorrow we can do anything you want, okay?" He asked laying next to me.
I nodded and watched him get up once more and change into more comfortable clothing. He looked at me and smiled.
"Go to sleep darling, I'll be in bed in a few." He said smiling blowing me a kiss then going into his closet.
I layed into the bed cozying into it finally feeling the sleepiness take over my body. The last thing I heard was a soft 'I love you sweetie' before falling into the darkness we call sleep.
Maybe I will finally stop holding in all my feelings and finally rely on the love of my life for comfort.
A/n- Well um hey... I know I suck at posting!! I'm so sorry for my inactiveness. I plan on posting soon again, I promise! I wrote this story when I was very deep in my thoughts, I wasn't feeling happy at all when writing this. If you ever feel like you need to talk to someone please let me know, I will gladly talk with you! I'm no therapist, I'm a teenager who probably has been in your shoes. I love you all so much, with all my heart thank you. <3
