LIMERENCE - h. potter

fin.

Final Author's message -

Hey guys! I don't think I've actually introduced myself properly here so I might as well do it for those who stayed behind after all this time. I'm Louisa, an 18 year old (2021) Arab-Kabaylie girl and the writer of this fic. I started it years and years ago, back when I was 13 years old when it was called Euphoria. Albeit, I got quite a bit of views but after a period of lacking motivation I unpublished it despite the fact that it was completed. I then dabbled - I wrote the 100 fics, I wrote Narnia and social media fics but this is the first, out of the 50 drafts that I do have that I have been proud of. The beginning was the work of a 15 year old who was grieving a friend's death, the middle was the work of a girl locked inside her house for months on end and the end is simply me, a soon to be uni student with dyslexia and depression who has coped through three lockdowns and the most stressful time of her life with Lyra. Lyra had truly been my all for a very long while and is the only thing that has made me happy in a while for even reading her story and living it with me, I can't thank you all enough. I have grown and cried and laughed with Lyra, I've joked and made funny little comments through her and I've gone through some shit and basically used her as an emotional outlet when I needed her the most. She's been an imaginary shoulder to cry on and such a big part of my life both while I was in lock down and while before, when I was suffering through my depression but as the Oh Hellos have said, this must end.

The ending is bittersweet though for both Lyra and I. As I've left Lyra pre-epilogue, she's had closure for the first time in forever and is willing to close the book on those horrible parts her life as I have done. She had let go, she's relaxed and has grown so much from the 15 year old who could be easily manipulated by a disgusting man. Slowly, I'm letting go of the character that has lead me through years of sixth form and school in general and as I'm finishing this book, I have graduated and am leaving my own school so this all seems a bit like a metaphorical book ending, even if this book is literally ending but everything ends, it can't go on forever even if I would like it to and I am letting go of Lyra slowly.

Ethan too, our favourite Slytherin and I know he's a favourite of most, especially me (soz for killing him lol). His character was honestly just supposed to be a bit of comic relief but he turned out to be based on my two friends, both of whom have no clue this book even exists or that I've taken a hobby but it's okay. He's so caring and compassionate and just so cute and just makes me smile whenever I write him. It hurts me that Ethan died in the Battle of Hogwarts, especially when he's based on two people very close to me but I don't believe in unhappy endings which would've been if the Fallen Fifty had died forever. I don't know what it's about but I hate unhappy endings with the depths of my soul. Life isn't happy, I know that. I've been on the receiving end for a fair few tragedies to plague human existence but it's important to remember that but people change and grow and become different even if you don't want to be. Their idea of happy changes but nothing else changes, the emotion never does. I think it's that bit of optimism that I've grown up with that lead me to believe that, the hope that things would get better but I do believe deeply in happy endings (or at least that life does get better).

Dylan, however, seems to be staying in my heart despite my attempts to shake him. I feel as though he deserves something of his own, a story with Oliver and with his own coming out. I feel as though he adds a new dimension, especially as he's 20+ and has no clue what to do with life (the solution of which I haven't placed in the epilogue intentionally so HA try and guess). He's just got that relatablity that I recognise because its like... me. How relationship with Sarah, the healer, has always been platonic. It has always been Oliver. Oliver is the love of his life and only the lucky realise it that early. They will grow together and be happy, just as they should. I think he can teach us all how to love, especially with so many barriers in the way. Writing Dylan has taught me that Love exists, through everything we touch and breath and feel and I love the idea of love. It all just appeals to me but anyway I'm going off topic. Dylan is a deeply flawed human, he blames his sister for things that aren't her fault. He gives her shit for stuff she shouldn't get shit for but when it matters and it has, he's been a shoulder to cry on, the reason for her smile and the cause of her bravado. My first draft of this book didn't include Dylan or Ethan or Andrea or Nicholas or Dae and Amina. It included Lyra and Harry and that was all but I think that they added so much to the book that Lyra couldn't add herself and I hope you guys have loved the characters like I've lived them.