Kacey Taylor is a 23year old IG model, who enjoys partying with her friends and having a good time. With no chick nor child she barely has responsibilities and is solely focused on living her best life at her young age. Her last relationship didn't...
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"Damn babymama you looking so finee."
"Yeah? How fine I look bae?"
"Like my future wife." He teased.
I finally told Spooky about my pregnancy and to say that he was elated wouldn't even cover it. His joy was unexplainable. This man literally screamed when I told him that I was pregnant and it almost broke my heart. I wasn't even sure if this baby was his. This brought me a sense of dejavu. I remember when I slept with Trigga and ended up pregnant. I always wondered had I known that I was pregnant would the end result be different? How would I have felt? Would I end up with Trigga? Would Dave still kill him? It pained me to even think about him for too long. I always blamed men for my heartbreaks but the reality of it is I contributed fairly to them as well. I am everything a girlfriend should be except loyal. Thinking back to my past relationships, I always felt like I had an excuse. When I cheated on Smokey with Trigga, my excuse was that Smokey was already cheating on me. That was the truth but I could've also just left him. Then I cheated on Dave with Trigga and now I've cheated on Spooky with Dave.
It's like a freaking cycle.
Why is that?
Why am I like this?
Am I that weak that I can't resist temptation? Or are Trigga and Dave just the temptations that I can't resist.
I always had love and hidden feelings for Trigga but Dave really came out of the blue. It was different, unexpected and raw. I think that's why I loved it but apart of me wasn't ready to let go of Trigga. I was being selfish and it cost him his life and I will never forgive myself for that.
Spooky has been there for me throughout the years. The guy has been there for me for as long as I can remember. He even makes it his duty to be there for my daughter and yet here I am. Barely two years into our relationship and unsure of who the father of my child is.
It's pathetic and beyond embarrassing.
This isn't who I want my daughters to look up to as a role model. At my age I shouldn't even have an issue in sticking to one man. Maybe commitment isn't my thing after all. Maybe I'm meant to be on my own.
Then again, I was doing great with Dave after Trigga. I was 110% loyal and devoted to him. He was my everything and more until Kaziah came about. It was the two of them for me. They were my family then Kassidy and Davia came along. They were all I needed but then a blast from the past ruined that for us. It destroyed our forever and a part of me is glad it did. Imagine if I had gone all my life not knowing that I was giving my heart to my friend's killer. Another part of me wishes I never knew the truth. I'm sure we would've still been together. My family would've been whole and I wouldn't be conflicted about having more kids. I would be oblivious but I would've probably been happy living a lie I didn't know existed. I told Spooky I wasn't sure if I wanted kids but the reality is that there's two strong reasons for that.
