How Jesse Got His Karma

forty

Part 2

We were sitting in silence as I sat at my usual class desk grading the assignments in the pile of papers that I was given.

I was still a bit shaken up with what happened between Jesse and I earlier but I'm trying my best not to show it since I could tell that Mr.Maddow was kind of concerned when he saw us out there and I'm hoping he didn't hear certain parts of our conversation.

I was holding my red pen, ironically grading Paola's paper as Mr.Maddow called my name from his desk and I looked up at him as he pushed his glasses further up his nose with a blue pen in his hands, looking at his own pile of work, "Are you sure that you're alright?"

Clearing my throat and sitting up in my seat, I say, "Yeah. I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

He points at my paper and chuckles a little bit saying, "I don't think you've graded any of your other papers in your pile. You've been stuck on that one since we started twenty minutes ago."

I look back down at Paola's paper in my grasp and then look at my left to see that I don't have a pile of papers that I've graded because I am holding the only paper that I've looked at since I came in here.

I sigh and place my hand on my forehead, shielding my eyes away from him because I'm a bit embarrassed at how bewildered I'm allowing myself to seem at the fact that I got cornered by Jesse and him pretty much saying he wouldn't leave me alone.

Would I be lying if I said part of me didn't care for him? Yes because it's simply not true at all. Jesse isn't the first boy I've ever talked to but he's the first boy that I allowed myself to get close to like that and maybe I'm overreacting, but the way that he really switched up and said those things still confuses me to no end.

What did he expect me to do when he apologized? Run into his arms and tell him how much I missed him. That I forgave him? So that he could turn right around whenever he's in a bad mood and hurt me verbally like that again and expect that I'll be fine with it as long as he says, 'I'm sorry, alright?'

What kind of shitty apology even is that? It's like it physically pained him to apologize to me.

Lifting my head back up to stare into Mr.Maddow's eyes again noticing how concerned he looks, I say, "I just have some things going on." I laugh quietly, "You wouldn't get it."

Raising an eyebrow he says, "No?" Removing his glasses and placing them onto his desk, leaning back into his seat, "Try me." he tells me and I can't help but gawk at him with my mouth opened a little bit

"Well um..." I start off shaking my head not knowing how to word it, "Well I mean--you're a guy right?"

He looks at me with his left eyebrow raised biting his lip with a grin threatening to come across his face and I realize how dumb I sound.

"Oh my God--I'm sorry! I-I mean of course you're a guy but you're like a man but not an actual guy." I stammer out and I notice what I said was equally as fucked up the first time when he looks at me and bites his lip again with a full-blown smile. Smiling shyly I say, "You do know what I'm trying to say right?"

"Yeah I think I have a bit of an idea." he chuckles, rolling the sleeves of his shirt upwards, showcasing some ink on his arms that I've never seen of 3 lard Chinese symbols going vertically down his arm as he clasps his hands leaning forward on the desk, looking at me closely. "Now that we've established my gender." he starts, cutting himself off with a chuckle, "What's bothering you?"

Sighing I say, "I'm in this...is the right word entanglement?" I ask, "I mean we're not together but we're not like...not together. We were on and now we're off." I finish and he nods in understanding still expecting me to continue.

"Of course we're off now because of him and his anger issues. He's the one that walked away." I shake my head looking down still thinking about it trying to not let my anger bubble up to the surface before I explode on my calculus teacher

"I feel like I'm getting mixed signals but at the same time everything he's saying is so clear." I sigh, my eyes quickly glancing at Mr.Maddow as he still is trying to interpret everything I'm saying

"I don't know. I feel like I'm overreacting. Or maybe I'm scared to listen to him when he says that he wants me this time but I don't know if it would be different If I were to try things out with him again. I mean I barely know but at the same tim-- Oh my God I'm talking about this too my calculus teacher." I say realizing just how far I've taken the opportunity he gave me to confide in him and when he hears this he laughs loudly.

"I told you, you could tell me whatever is bothering you. I'm not here to judge you," he says and I refuse to look up at him. I've been getting embarrassed numerous times today and I don't know how to make it stop.

I hear footsteps and they begin to closer towards me before I hear a sound of a small thud. Looking to my left, I see that Mr.Maddow has brought a red metallic chair, sitting it next to my desk, leaving distance in between the two of us as he is now sitting right next to me.

I fail at my attempt to not make eye contact as he looks at me but I do it anyway when he says, "Sometimes a guy, not all of them but a good portion, will say or do certain things that might seem outrageous or out of character because they'll fail to think before they speak. I don't know what this guy, who I can assume was the gentlemen I saw you outside with," he raises an eyebrow asking me and I shake my head to clarify, "But whatever he said seems to have you shaken up and I've never seen you in this kind of state before." he shakes his head

"I think that around him someone like him, you should be more careful. I'm sure Jesse is a good man but he doesn't seem like someone who's stable and figured out. He's still young and so are you and one of these days he could hurt you with that lack of maturity he has." He finishes looking at me with so much intensity and that's how I know he's serious.

"I'm not trying to tell you what to do or anything here," he says running his hands through his hair, "That's just something that I wish someone told me when I was in high school getting into relationships with girls that I didn't know all too well. Would've saved myself a whole lot of heartbreak." he chuckles to himself and I absorb everything he's saying and nod in understanding. Grateful that he gave me the advice.

It's just in my best interest to do what I already planned to do and stay away. Sooner or later Jesse will get bored and tired and move onto the next.

What we had was puppy love if anything. infatuation to be more precise, maybe some lust too.

Nothing more than a phase.

"I just think you can do better. You deserve better." I look at him from underneath my lashes noticing that he's still looking at me. He rubs my left thigh in slow circles and clears his throat lifting his hand. The sense of warmth I felt from his hand,gone. Standing up from his seat, he strolls back over to his desk and points at my stack of papers motioning for me to get back to work.

"That's just something for you to think about." He says sitting down in his seat and putting on his glasses as the classroom goes silent again.

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Yeaaaaaah so this chapter is late but HERE YOU GO

Thanks for reading :)

BTW I can't help but notice that none of you like Mr.Maddow LMAOOOOOOO I'm crying reading the comments about him being a creep, not one of you have had anything kind to say about this man LOL