you're my cure ➸ l.h

thirty-five ≫ come find me.

I took out my extremely tangled headphones and began untangling them slowly, as I heard footsteps nearing me from behind. School had ended and I was walking out of the campus, so this could only be one person. I turned around to meet his eyes.

"Hey, Jas." Calum walked up, hands buried in his pants pockets.

I nodded as a greeting as I never had the morale or motivation to actually form words anymore. Luke's been gone for a while, and Calum's been keeping me company. He always tells me that he's worried about me, but what can I do? Luke's gone.

Calum sighed at me, again. He's always sighing around me lately.

".. do you need a ride today?"

He's also been offering and giving me rides to school and back home recently; I think it's because he feels bad for me, and I hate when people pity me, but, it's difficult turning down Calum. I nodded as an answer and this time, he didn't sigh.

We reached his car in a small amount of time and I let myself into the passenger seat of his jet black car. It was awkwardly quiet for most of the trip, but I'm sure it was better than forced small talk, like usual.

Once we were around three quarters of the way to my house, Calum cleared his throat and shifted in the drivers seat. He glanced at me warily.

"So, I've been thinking.. we should go find Luke."

I breathed in slightly, breath hitching in my throat. "W- what?"

I'd been waiting ages for someone to offer to find Luke with me. Maybe not ages, but, he's been gone for a while with no means of contact. I hate to say it, it makes my heart wrench in pain, but we don't even know if he's alive at this point. That's why we need to find him. I can't go alone, honestly, I'd get lost myself. It would be better if someone was with me, because if I had a breakdown like last time, I don't know what I'd do. It's only been around a week since Luke stormed out of my mom's van, but it feels like months.

"I'm sure I'm not as worried or sad as you are, with the little-to-no talking thing and the never smiling thing but, I am worried. He's my best friend after all- we need to find him.. and.. I'm pretty sure I know where he is."

I said, "where?" faster than he could even finish the sentence.

"His uncle's house. Luke used to go over there a lot because his uncle is never there, and it's basically acted as Luke's own house a lot of times. I'm pretty sure he's there. I can't believe he hasn't told you yet.. well, actually, scratch that."

"What?"

"I don't know, he goes there when he wants to be alone. He probably knows that you love him too much to leave him alone when he's sad.."

I sighed. The only name on my mind, or rather, being screamed in my mind, was Luke.

"..anyway, yeah. You up for it?"

My heart was racing and I could feel a slight, accidental smile form on my face. "You already know I'm up for it. When?"

Calum laughed lightly and sighed; not a sad sigh, though- a sigh of relief. "Well, well. Smiling and talking, what a pleasure." He said sarcastically.

I nudged his shoulder with the back of my hand, causing him to giggle more. I missed happiness a lot, and I hadn't even realized.

"No but.. Let's go tomorrow." I said, coming down from laughing.

Calum looked at me with his eyebrows furrowed. "What about school?"

"Let's just tell our parents we're going on a fieldtrip. No big deal." I replied.

Calum pulled up to my house and came to a very easy stop.

"You're a good driver, you know that?" I said.

He chuckled. "Yeah, so see you tomorrow? I'll pick you up at say, ten-ish. Should I bring Ashton and Michael?"

"Eh, yeah. More the merrier." I answered.

"Great. See you, Jasmin!" Calum smiled.

I nodded at him silently, but this time I was smiling.

-

I squished and smushed the food in front of me, nervously refusing to eat. I was about to tell my parents about my "field trip". My dad was here too, so I had no idea how they'd react. I still remember when my mom first told me that she was okay with Luke and I, and she said whenever my dad didn't agree with what I was doing, she'd just agree with him mindlessely. I didn't respect her that much for that but, she's my mom and she can do whatever she wants, I guess.

"So.. there's a fieldtrip tomorrow, for science class. It won't be long, but I have to go, for my grade." I said, making sure to put emphasis on the grade part.

My dad sat back in his chair. He looked at me like he didn't believe me, but not a second later, he went back to eating and mumbled a, "yeah, sure, whatever.". My mom, of course, agreed right after. That was easy. I silently hoped Calum's parents said yes as well.

Later that night, I was packing up for the next day's trip and during that time, my heart was painfully aching for him. I had his clothes, that were left here a time before, on; his sweatpants that were too big for me, and his Green Day shirt that was also too big for me. It made me feel protected, but at the same time, I couldn't stop thinking about him. Especially when the feel of his lips were burned into my skin and traces of the way he smells were still in my hair. Nights like these were when I ended up the saddest - I have time to think about what I could've done - what I should have done. I shouldn't have told him. No, I should have. My mind plays tennis with 'should've' and 'shouldn't have', the thoughts going back and forth like the sport. Unfortunately, in this game, no one wins.

I'd left Luke countless messages on his phone, assuming he even has his phone with him.. wherever he is. I've sent long paragraphs, explaining how much he means to me. At times of hopelessness, I just send small things like, 'nothing's the same without you', or most of the time, 'i love you'. None of them seem to get any reaction, which has effectively worried me.

Right before I'd started packing, though, I sent one last text.

[ hey. i know you probably don't care, but calum and i are coming to find you. calum says he knows where you probably are. michael and ashton are probably tagging along too. i couldn't go alone, luke, i would've done something stupid too. but we're going to find you, because we all love you. and i'm in love with you. ]

Only a few minutes before I finished packing, my phone buzzed. I wasn't surprised, and I wasn't excited. I didn't think it was him.

[ i'm in love with you too. head over heels ]

//

holy shit okay its been like over a month i'm soRRY.....i didnt know where to take the story but i think i got it now!!

thank u for those of you who're being patient!!!! love u sm

dont forget to vote and comment and stuff like that bc u know i love it and we'RE ALMOST TO 100K HOLY SHIT SO SHARE THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS YOUR FAMILY YOUR DOG YOUR NEIGHBORS IDC JUST!! 100K IS MENTAL

I LOVE U GUYS SO MUCH, I ALREADY SAID IT BUT I DO SO MUCH THANK U 💖

p.s. if u ever wanna talk, i run a fan account on instagram (@poetcalum) and u can always talk to me on there 💓