you're my cure ➸ l.h

thirty-six ≫ feeling home.

I didn't sleep well last night. I don't know what it was, and it could've been anything. It could've been a nightmare that I'd forgotten I'd had.. and I'd love to tell myself that it was just a nightmare. But, I knew that, most likely, it was all of the stress building up for today. I never knew stress could be this bad, and I'm in highschool - the worst stress inducer of a teenager's life. My mind wandered from time to time while I sat in bed, waiting for Calum to call or text me. Thoughts wandered, but never became too astray from the center of my thoughts.. Luke. He'll want to see me, right?

[ i'll be there in half an hour with michael and ash. be ready ]

I sighed after checking Calum's text; I guess I'll have to get ready. I guess I'll have to see if Luke even wants to see my face again. Part of my brain thinks the other part is crazy, how could Luke not want to see me? He's in love with me.. the other part of my brain just isn't as sure.

I got ready in a good twenty minutes and rushed down the stairs. It usually takes me double that time, but I was in a rush. Just imagining Luke by himself, feeling the most alone he's ever felt in a while, made my body automatically speed up the 'getting ready' process. I didn't bother making myself breakfast, so I went into the pantry to grab a snack. A car horn beeped right as my hand touched the plastic wrap of the selected snack; they were here.

I stuffed my house keys in my back pocket and a couple twenties from the kitchen counter in there as well, and headed out the front door. I saw Calum's familiar black car with two other figures shaded by the windows. I already knew who they were, obviously.

"Hey Jasmin!" Calum chirped from the frontseat.

I greeted him with a slight smile and a small, "hello", and only a moment after, Michael and Ashton greeted me with their usual loud selves. They'd both sat in the back seat so that I'd have shotgun, which I thought was sweet. 'We figure you're the most important person on this trip,' they'd said. That was most of the talking we did, though. Well, the four of us. The three of them had countless conversations. I was stuck in my head, alone with my thoughts.

The one thought, the thought that stood out the most, the thought that kept racing through my mind was - what if bringing Michael was a bad idea? What if Luke hates Michael now? Before the whole Michael-incident, I honestly couldn't see Luke hating Michael; remembering the first time I saw Michael and Luke together in the mental institution, they acted like brothers. If I was the person who made Luke hate his own bandmate, I don't think I could live with myself.

What would be worse than that is if Luke never forgave me. I kissed Michael back, and Luke knows it. It probably pains him to know it.

Every time I brought this up to any three of the boys in the car, they'd tsk at the idea and say that Luke could never hate me, but the tone in his voice the night that he left was something I'd never heard from him before. It was beyond pain, like I'd ripped out his only lifeline right in front of him.

"Luke's never going to forgive me." I said flatly, more to myself than anyone else.

I heard Ashton sigh. "Yes, he is going to forgive you. Stop.. ugh, doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Having a pity party for yourself. We know Luke. And we know how he feels about you."

I sighed.

Michael spoke up. "Stop sighing. Jasmin, I feel terrible for.. uh," he looked at the other guys, and cleared his throat, "you know.. what I did, but I feel bad because it was my fault. You should't feel bad, it's not like you initiated it. Once I tell Luke that-"

"You're gonna tell him?" I said, a confused look on my face.

"Well, yeah. Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know.. aren't you, like, afraid or something?"

All three boys chuckled a small bit, while Michael shook his head.

"Luke? No, he's harmless. I'd be surprised if he gave me a reason to be afraid of him."

They didn't see the haze over Luke's eyes when he left. I don't think they've ever seen it. I just nodded my head, and kept silent for the remainder of the trip.

-

At last, we pulled up onto the driveway of a very cozy looking house. By the looks of it, it had only one story. You couldn't tell much else from the outside of it. Luke was definitely here though - his car was parked next to the curb.

"Me first." I said.

I felt my stomach tense up. It felt like the same feeling you get before you get onto a rollercoaster, or before you do a presentation. My stomach wasn't just doing flips, it was doing a whole cheerleading routine.

In response the boys just nodded. They looked nervous, and I couldn't help wondering if I looked worse.

I heard a muffled "good luck" from Michael, followed by a "yeah" from Cal and a "what he said" from Ashton as I slowly got out of the car. I glanced back at the car for the last time before I walked up to the porch and knocked on the door, three simple times. I listened.

Silence. More silence. Shuffling. Footsteps. Footsteps getting closer. Footsteps stop. No more shuffling. Door unlocking. Door opening.

I'm met with a large sigh of relief followed by a warm, welcoming smile and two outstretched arms.

As my face was pressed to his chest and my hands were planted firmly against his back, I smiled at a thought.

"I've never felt more at home." I mumbled.

//

sorry this chapter sucks )): cliffhanger i guess?? i love u

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- riss