All I Want - Sequel

•14•

I can't sleep.. how could I? Everything is completely wrong. Toms on the phone, trying to get a surgeon here by tomorrow evening.
Haz is staying at the hospital with Stass. I haven't gotten to talk to him since he found out, but I know he's probably feeling everything right now.. poor thing. This is terrifying, especially for them.
"Great. Thank you! Yes, we will see you tomorrow." Tom says, and hangs up the phone.
I sit up, and he gives me a smile.
"Dr. Miller from Hopkins will be out here tomorrow evening." He says and I let out a breath of relief.
"Thank god.." I say.
"Look, everything will be okay. We will go see them in the morning and tell them but for now, you need to sleep."
He gets in bed next to me, and I lay my head down on my pillow.
"What if she doesn't make it?" I ask.
"Don't think like that. She will be okay." He tries, but I know he's just saying that to make me feel better.
There's a good chance that she doesn't make it off that table.. and that can not happen.
"Go to sleep my love, we have a big day tomorrow and I have to jizz in a cup." He says, making me giggle.
"You're not going to have time for that." I say.
"I will make time." He kisses my forehead, and pulls me into him. "Goodnight. I love you."
After attempting to sleep through the night, but waking up practically every hour, I pick up breakfast for Haz and Stassie, and head to the hospital while Tom goes to the clinic to give his sample.
As I walk through the hospital doors, my phone begins to ring and I see it's the clinic. Here we go..
"Hello?" I answer.
"Hello Amelia, this is doctor Harper. I just wanted to let you know that we got your blood results back and all your levels look amazing." She says.
A sense of relief washes over my body, and I smile widely to myself.
"Thank you so much." I say.
"Of course! And someone will be calling you and your husband with his results on Wednesday. Have a good day."
"You too, goodbye."
I hang up the phone, and reach Stassies room. I knock on the door and walk inside to see Haz brushing his hand through her hair, and kissing her forehead. It feels so right to see them together again. They are meant to be and it felt so odd when they broke up.
"So I have some really good news." I say, handing Haz the food I brought them.
"And that is?" Stass asks.
"Dr. Miller from Hopkins is the second best neurosurgeon in the world, and she will be here this evening." I say.
"What?!" Haz exclaims.
"Tom wanted you to have the very best so he made some calls." I say.
"He seriously did that for me?" She asks in shock.
"Tom doesn't show it but he does care about you Stass, we all do." I nod.
I hug my two best friends, knowing they both need it. Today will be a very stressful day, we all need some cheering up.
"Where is Tom?" Haz asks.
"In a clinic bathroom jacking off." I answer.
"I'm sorry.. what?" Stass laughs.
"We're just getting some fertility tests done." I say. "So Tom has to jizz in a cup."
"Oh man I can't wait to use that against him." Haz says in amusement.
Seeing them both smile is making me feel so much better.
"So? You're really going to have a baby?" Stass questions.
"We're trying.."
Stass and I chat for a while, getting caught up. She's definitely not herself.. but she's more herself now that she knows what's wrong than she was before. It's so weird.. it's like I'm talking to her, but there's this filter over everything she says that makes it sound like a different person.
___
Dr. Miller will be here any minute and all of us are a bit nervous, but mostly Stassie. I can't imagine what she must be feeling right now, knowing that in 24 hours she could be... I can't even think about it.
"So I'm just going to say it- if I die I want your kid to be named after me." Stassie says.
"Stass stop it!" Haz scolds. "You're not going to die!"
"Well if I do.. it'd be nice to know that my memory lives on."
"Please.. stop saying that." Haz pleads.
There's a knock on the door, and a woman walks in. She's short with long red hair and large framed glasses. She gives us all a smile, and I recognize her instantly.
"Hi, I'm Dr. Miller." She introduces herself.
"Hi, I'm Tom we spoke on the phone." Tom shakes her hand. "This is Stassie."
The woman kindly shakes her hand, and continues to hold it as she greets her.
"I just want to assure you that you are in great hands. I am going to get you through this Stassie, I've dealt with far worse. Don't be too nervous." She says.
Just those words alone relax my anxiety. I can tell it gives Stass some hope too.
"I have looked over your scans, and I will say the tumor is big, but lucky for the both of us, it has smooth edges, so cutting it out won't be too hard." She explains.
"The doctors told me it was risky?" Stass questions.
"Not in terms of tumor removal. But based on the location of the tumor, there are some risks for loosing some motor skills, memory, and there is also a risk of not waking up.." she says.
I see how Haz looks at Stass, trying to stay strong for her but dying on the inside. So many things could go wrong with this..
"So we will put you under, the surgery will go for about five or six hours, and you'll wake up feeling pretty weak, but tumor free. Best case scenario you'll wake up and feel like yourself again."
Stass nods, squeezing Haz's hand.
"Alright.. let's do it." She says.
"Perfect. Do you have any questions for me?" The doctor asks.
"Just please don't kill me." Stass laughs lightly.
"Don't worry, I've got you." The doctor assures her. "I will see you first thing tomorrow morning, and we will get you into the OR."
Dr. Miller says her goodbyes, and the nurse brings in the consent forms, explaining how surgery prep will go. This is a lot.
I decide to step out, needing a breath of fresh air. I walk outside into the cold night air, and Tom follows out behind me.
"There's just so much up in the air right now.. it feels like everything is out of control." I say.
"I know.." he sighs.
"Why is life so hard? One minute everything is fine and the next it's not. One morning you wake up and you can't have a baby and your best friend needs brain surgery and your dumb ass ex boyfriend is back in town. Everything is going wrong and I don't know what to do!" I cry.
"Come here it's okay." Tom says, pulling me into his arms for a tight embrace.
This is all just so overwhelming.
"And I'm supposed to be up there helping my two best friends through this and instead I'm down here crying." I say through tears.
"Honey, look at me." He says, and I pull my face away to look into his comforting brown eyes. "You are not responsible for anyone but yourself. If you need a minute to cry, then give yourself that. You can't take care of everyone all the time."
I nod, knowing he's right. I always want to make everything okay. If there is a problem I always want to be the one to fix it. Sometimes I need to just take a second to myself and take a deep breath.
"Now listen.. all of our fertility results are going to be fine, Stassie will be fine, and I will murder Derek if I have to." He says and it's a little concerning how serious he sounded saying the last part.
"Okay." I say.
He hugs me once more, and kisses my head.
"You're such a great girl, Lia." He says. "We're all so lucky to have you. And we all want you to take care of yourself first, even if there's bigger things going on."