All I Want - Sequel

•18•

All three of us walk into the hospital, hoping and praying that Stass will have her memory back this morning. I say a silent prayer, needing whatever higher power there is to help us out. We walk into her room, and the nurses are doing some reflex tests and writing the results down. At least she's doing okay physically. That is the most important thing.
"I'll come back to check on you in a few hours." The nurse says, and leaves the room.
"Morning Stass, how are you feeling?" I ask, sitting at her side.
"I still don't remember.." She says.
"It's okay, it'll come." I assure her.
She turns her attention to Haz, and pats the other side of her bed for him to come sit.
He looks a bit shocked, but is quick to come over and take a seat.
"I don't remember but.. if I fell in love with you before I'm sure I can fall in love with you again." She says and for the first time since this all started, I see Haz smile. "Maybe you could show me more photos? Videos?"
"I'd love to." He grins, and pulls out his phone.
"We will give you two some privacy." I say, and pull Tom out of the room.
They're going to be okay.. no matter what happens they will make it. I just know it. Stass and Haz are meant to be together, even if they end up having to start from the beginning and rebuild what they already had.
Toms phone starts to ring, and he looks down at it.
"It's the clinic, it's probably the results." He says.
"Answer it!" I say excitedly.
He answers the phone and puts it to his ear.
"Hello? Yeah this is him.. okay.. okay.."
I listen to him talk nervously, I just need to know what they are saying.
"Alright, thank you."
He hangs up and I wait for him to tell me what they said.
"So?" I say.
"She didn't give me the test results, she wants us to come in to talk about them." He answers.
"That means something is wrong.." My heart falls.
"Hey.. you don't know that." He says. "We're going at 4. Think Stass will be okay for an hour?"
"Well she seems fine with Haz for now so.. yeah." I mutter, still just thinking about how something is probably wrong with him and we won't be able to have a baby of our own.
"If something is wrong with me.. I'm sorry."
My heart breaks at his words, and I shake my head at him, grabbing his face.
"No don't be sorry.. it's not your fault. We will find a way, okay? No matter what she says it's okay." I assure him.
He nods, and I kiss his lips softly. Even if something is wrong, I need to be so careful about my upset. I really, truly do not want to make him feel bad. These things just happen, and there's no way around it. He doesn't need to feel guilt.
I look through the window of Stassies room, seeing that Haz is right at her side, and she's smiling at everything he's showing her. His hand is resting over hers, lightly holding it. It's kind of sweet.. like they're falling in love all over again.
We walk back inside, and the room is filled with laughter. I lift my brow at them questioningly.
"Remember Mexico?" He giggles.
"Oh my god.. not the trip to Mexico." I laugh.
Last year the four of us took a trip to Mexico. Stass and I ditched the boys and went skinny dipping, and they thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to take our clothes and run off. At the time we were absolutely livid, but now every time I look back I laugh.
"So why weren't we married?" Stassie asks, looking to Haz.
"Actually.. just before you went in for surgery I proposed." He says and my eyes widen.
"You proposed?!" Tom and I both exclaim at the same time.
"And you said yes.." Haz says.
Oh my god he proposed?! Why didn't he tell me! I'm his very best friend I should know these things!
"I wish I could remember.." she mutters quietly.
"You will, soon enough."
___
Tom and I head out to the fertility clinic. I'm so nervous to hear what she has to say. I've always wanted to be pregnant and experience birth and see my face in my child. I know that there's always other options, but I wanted this whole experience so badly.
We sit in the office, and Tom holds my hand as we wait for the doctor to come in. His thumb runs over my knuckles soothingly, and he looks over, examining my face. He sees the pure anxiety and upset, and kisses my head.
His forehead kisses always somehow manage to ease any pain I'm in.
The door opens, and the doctor walks in. She greets us and takes a seat, pulling out a file.
"So we have two things to talk about." She starts. "Firstly I want to let you know that the sperm test came back completely normal. You have healthy sperm."
My fear drops, feeling so much better. Why would she call us in just to say that we're both fertile? More importantly.. what's the second thing she needs to talk about..
"Well that's great!" Tom says with surprise.
"Now, there is something else we need to discuss." She gets a more serious tone. "Some of the tests we did.. we got the results mixed up.."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"The test results we gave you were incorrect." She says. "Your results do show some fertility issues."
And it's in this very moment that I feel a pang in my chest. It's not even Tom with the issue.. it's me. Something is wrong with me.
Toms squeeze on my hand is even tighter now, and I look at the doctor with complete disbelief. How could I think everything is fine one minute and then it's not the next.
"I'm so sorry about the mix up." She apologizes. "Your FSH is low, and your LH is high. Now, it is still possible to have a baby with fertility treatments if you would like."
"Yes. Please. Tell me everything." I encourage.
She goes on to tell me about the fertility treatment options. Pills.. shots.. invasive procedures. It's a lot. If it's what I have to do to have a baby though then it's just what I have to do.
"We can start you on the pills and go from there. Give it a while, follow your ovulation schedule, and if it works then great and if it doesn't we can move on to the next one." She says.
"What are the chances she can conceive?" Tom asks.
"35% with treatment." she answers.
This is going to be so much harder than I thought..
"And are there any risks to her if she does get pregnant?" He asks.
"There shouldn't be any more risk than a normal pregnancy, it's just getting to that point that will be a bit tricky." She replies.
She writes me up a prescription for the fertility drugs, and sends us on our way. I get in the car, staying silent as Tom drives. I take notice of how he keeps looking over to me, and his hand rests on my knee.
"It's okay my love, we will get our baby no matter how long it takes." He says.
"35% Tom." I remind him.
"And we're going to be in that 35%. I promise."