Song for the chapter: Same Old War (Acoustic) by Our Last Night
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"Get up," Lin whines as she tries to pull me up.
"Why?" I mumble into the pillow.
"Because you've been laying in bed all weekend. And the weekend before that, and all of the weekends before that! You need to get out and do something," she says back.
"I don't want to get up," I mumble again, not even budging as she pulls.
"Come on!" She yells.
"I'm not getting up!" I yell back. If she's gonna yell, I will too.
"Allis, you have to! This isn't healthy!" She yells again as she finally lets go of my arm. She was probably right. I'm sure it wasn't healthy to lay in bed all of the time and not do anything, but I didn't care. I never felt like doing anything anymore, so I wasn't going to.
I don't remember the last time I talked to anyone at school besides Linley, and I definitely don't remember the last place I went besides school or my own house. Each weekend Lin would try to get me to go to a party or to go shopping, but I never would. Nothing was going to cheer me up, and why would I do stuff that I didn't want to do? All I wanted to do was stay in my bed and attempt to sleep; but with the constant nightmares, that wasn't even a possibility anymore.
Linley has finally given up on attempting to pull me out of my bed. I remove my face from the pillow to find her sitting in my desk chair, pouting at me. "Just want to let you know that your mom told me that if you don't get up and do something this weekend, she's sending you to counseling whether you like it or not," she says with a smirk.
The last thing that I wanted to do was go to counseling. I can't even bring myself to think about my feelings, why would I want to openly share them with someone else?
"You're not serious," I say back.
"So serious," she states. I roll my eyes and let my head fall back down onto the mascara-stained pillow. "Hey, it's not my fault. I don't want you to have to go to counseling, which is why I'm trying to get you to do something."
"And what do you have planned for us to do?" I mumble.
"Well I think we should go to lunch...maybe do a little shopping, and..." She trails off.
"And what?" I say, giving her a death glare.
"We're going to a party tonight. No ifs, ands, or buts about it," she says with a small smile.
"There's no way in hell that I'm going to a party Linley," I snap.
"Yes you are. Come on, it will be good for you. You need to get drunk and meet some hot guys. It's at Connor's house, you know he has a thing for you." She smiles widely this time.
I knew that Connor had a thing for me the first time I met him, but I didn't care. There was one person I had a "thing" for, and that person wasn't here anymore. Thinking about a party at Connor's house brought back horrible memories that sent me back to a time I wish I could go back to. I never attended a party where Luke wasn't there, and now he wouldn't be. I wouldn't see his blonde hair stand out in a crowd, I wouldn't be arguing with him while in a swimming pool, and I wouldn't be dancing the night away with him.
Maybe getting drunk would actually help a little, who knows? The only way that I could "drink all of my feelings away" would involve becoming an alcoholic. In order to make the feelings disappear, I would have to never stop drinking.
I sigh in defeat. "Fine," I say. I didn't want to go out and do anything, especially go to a party, but sitting here alone missing Luke didn't sound appealing either. "But if it doesn't go well, I'm never going to another party," I say and I mean it. I was going to face memories that I have supressed in the back of my mind tonight, so I knew that it would go bad and I wouldn't have to go back again.
I look over at her, a big smile plastered on her face. She runs over and jumps on top of me, squishing me against my bed.
I needed to forget about him, at least for one night.
