I lay in bed each night and miss Luke like usual. Getting back together didn't change that, it actually made it worse. Knowing that I could have his arms around me right now made the pain worse and I shivered at his absence. The next time that they would be home was in three weeks, when the first leg of their tour would be over. It was nothing compared to the five months that I went without seeing them, so I knew that it would be easier than I thought.
On the Monday after the boys left, I told Nathan that we needed to talk after school. I felt bad for making him wait almost all day, but I couldn't just do it in school. I think he knew what was coming since I had been avoiding any communication with him all weekend.
I walk to his car with him when school lets out and get in, but tell him not to drive anywhere. I sigh before talking, but he interrupts me before I can say anything.
"It's Luke, isn't it?" He says sadly.
I frown and put my hand on his shoulder. "I'm really sorry Nathan. I wish it didn't have to be this way."
He nods his head and I can't tell if he is mad or not. "I understand," he says with a small smile and a feeling of relief washes over me.
"Thank you, it really does mean a lot. You're a great guy Nate."
"We can still be friends, right?" He asks.
"I'd love that." I smile at him and am glad that he still wanted to be. He leans over and hugs me and we say goodbye before I get out of the car.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I spend the rest of the night video-chatting with Luke. They were currently in England and he had just woken up a few minutes before our call since it was the morning there.
"How was your day babe?" He asks. His voice was raspy from his tiredness and it made me crave him even more than I already did.
"Fine. It would've been better if you were here," I say and stick my bottom lip out in a pout.
"I know baby, I wish I could be there with you. I miss you so much already," he says sadly.
"I know, I do too. How do you like London?" I ask.
"Well we haven't really done anything yet since we just got here and slept, but we're going to do some sight-seeing soon. I was supposed to be up earlier but I overslept. That jetlag kills me," he says with a chuckle.
"I can tell, you look exhausted." He always looked so adorable when he was sleepy. I just wanted to hold him so bad.
"Well I hate to cut our call short, but I should probably go babe. I need to go shower and get ready," he says with a pout of his own.
"Okay. Have a great day Luke, I'll talk to you tomorrow?" I ask.
"Of course baby. I love you."
"I love you," I reply. He kisses the camera and I do the same before his beautiful face disappears from the screen. It was still early, but I didn't have anything else to do tonight. I decide to go to bed. I have a hard time sleeping that night without the feeling of warmth and protection from Luke's arms.
It had only been one day and I already missed him more than I should. This was going to be harder than I thought.
