Song for the chapter: Ghost by Chelsea Lankes
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I drive fast down the empty roads, not caring about the speed at which I was going. I should turn around right now, forget about all of this and go home. Forget about Luke, forget about the bad feelings that were keeping me down; but I couldn't. I couldn't go on without doing this one thing. I had to go against my conscience one last time.
I pull into the usual parking spot and immediately get out of the car. I slip my shoes off and put my bare feet into the cold, soothing sand and close my eyes as I let the breeze run through my hair. The familiarity of being here gave me chills, thinking of all of the times that Luke and I spent the day here. When I open my eyes again, I spot him a little ways down. He is sitting alone in the sand. For some reason, the beach is completely empty besides the two of us. Probably because it was colder than usual today and a Sunday afternoon.
I contemplate my decision once more before I begin to walk towards the lonely boy staring out into the ocean. For a moment, I picture him as a little boy, sitting with his parents watching the sunset. The thought sends me through a whirl of emotions as I remember all of the stories of him as a little kid. Each step closer to him makes my stomach do a million flips. It would probably be better to just jump in the ocean and swim as far away as I could.
He doesn't seem to hear me as I walk towards him and I thank the soft sand for silencing my usually loud footsteps. It feels as though I had been walking for hours and when I finally sit next to him, he looks at me with wide eyes. There is only a small distance between us, but it still feels like miles.
"Allis," he whispers with shock. His wide eyes that are red and swollen blink rapidly as they scan my body. "What are you doing here?"
"I don't know," I say quietly. I honestly didn't know why I was here, but I should probably figure it out.
"How did you know I was here?" He asks as he turns to look at the ocean once more.
"Because I know you." I turn to look at the ocean as well, losing myself in it just like I do in his eyes.
We sit there in silence for what seems like a long time and I don't know how much time actually passes.
"I came here because it makes me think of you and all of the good times that we had," he says after a while.
"I thought you wanted to forget about me," I say plainly. My heart aches with each word that he says, his beautiful voice destroying me with only a few sentences.
"I've given up on trying to do that, it's not even worth the constant battle anymore." I feel his eyes look at me, but I refuse to look into them.
"What do you want Luke?" I ask. Everything that he was saying was confusing me further, only making my sanity even more questionable.
"You," he says blatantly. The one word hits me hard and it feels like I've just been punched in the chest. I take a gulp and look at his face to find any trace of a lie but find none.
"What made you change your mind?" I ask, pushing back the tears that are making their way to my eyes.
"I've never not wanted you Allison, you know that-"
"No Luke," I cut him off. "I don't know that, because you left me. If you wanted me so bad, you would have tried to make it work with me. But you didn't," I am almost to the point of yelling.
"I was stupid, okay? I honestly just wasn't thinking. Well I was thinking, but I was thinking the wrong things. I really didn't think it would work and I didn't want to be in pain later on or hurt you, but I did exactly that and I know that it actually made everything worse. I'm sorry, please believe me," he says with pleading eyes.
"How am I supposed to believe you?" The attempt to keep myself from crying is evident in my voice. I wish I wasn't so emotional and weak.
"I don't expect you to, and I won't ask you to. But just know that I mean every word that I've said in the past 24 hours. I know that I'm a fucking idiot and I'm so sorry. I'm probably just wasting both of our time." He lowers his head in between his knees and runs his long fingers through the now longer, blonde hair.
"You're not," I whisper. He immediately looks at me and for the first time in a while, I feel good about the words that I have just said. His eyes shoot back in forth between the two of mine and by the rapid blinks, I can tell that he is holding back the tears like me. "Luke-"
My words are interrupted by his soft lips on my cold ones. I embrace the familiar sensation that I have been craving since last night and throw my arms around his neck. He pushes me backwards into the sand and crawls over me. I don't care about the hundreds of grains of sand that have now found their way into my hair, or what Linley is going to think, or the thoughts in my head that are screaming no. All I care about is how Luke's fingers fit perfectly in mine and the way our mouths mold together in unison.
He pulls away from me and I shiver at his absence. "Allis," he says out of breath. His eyes move beautifully from my eyes to my swollen lips. "I love you."
The tears finally find their way to my eyes at the words that I have been waiting so long to hear again. I blink quickly as I try to push them back, but they make their path down my cheeks instead. "I love you so much."
A small laugh escapes his mouth and a single tear slips out of his eye and onto my cheek, becoming one with my own. His hands grasp my face and he pulls it up to meet his lips once again. In this moment, I gave myself completely to him once again without a care in the world. In this moment, I was crying tears of pure happiness.
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GUYS! IT FINALLY HAPPENED AND I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW HAPPY I AM
HOW ARE YOU GUYS FEELING?! I WANT TO KNOW BECAUSE OMG.
Thank you guys so much for continuing to read, you're seriously the best.
I love you, much love <3
xx
