Luke's POV
"I'm sorry man, I did the best I could." Calum's words sting me in the chest and I know that there is no hope left. "Just give her time like she said, we all know she loves you Luke. Don't you remember how upset she was when you left?" He asks.
"Yeah but now she knows about the real me," I whisper. I hadn't been talking much since Allis told me she wanted a break, so my voice was fading in and out.
"That was the old you, you've changed and we all see it." Michael pats me on the back and I blink away the oncoming tears.
"She obviously doesn't see it," I say back, a little louder this time.
"Then show her," Ashton demands.
"How? She doesn't even want to be near me!" I yell without meaning to. "I'm sorry," I apologize immediately. None of this was their fault and I shouldn't take it out on them, only on myself.
"Give her the space she wants, and when she gives you another chance prove to her that you are different," Ashton says again. The other two nod in agreement.
"Okay. How is she?" I ask Linley. I was surprised that she wanted to be around me, but she didn't hate me and I was glad.
"I'm not sure. She doesn't really talk about it," she says sadly.
I slowly nod my head and reach for my keys that are laying on the coffee table in front of me. "I'll be back," I say quietly as I rush out of the room. I get in my car and instantly drive away. I slam down the gas pedal, speeding away from familiarity and guilt. I didn't know where I was going, but it was going to be far away from here.
As the wind circulates through my car, it blows my hair in every direction and dries my tears. It doesn't keep my cheeks dry as they continue to slide down them anyways. Of course I Miss You by blink-182 just had to be the next song on the cd, and it all hit me. I could have possibly lost Allis for good. My worst fear had surfaced, dragging me down to the darkest hole I had already crawled out of once. What's even worse is that she had felt like this once, all because of me. I had made many people hurt, but not as bad as her. I guess this is what I deserved, karma had finally come back to bite me in the ass.
I try to forget the pain in my stomach and my chest and continue to drive as fast as I can. Memories arise all at once and cause my head to throb. Memories of Allis, of my brothers, of my parents. I close my eyes and try to let go of the past. It proves to be impossible when I open my eyes to the sudden sound of a car horn. I am staring right into oncoming traffic and it takes all I have to swerve away. I jerk the wheel too hard and end up driving into the grass on the side of the road. I wasn't expecting to drive off of the road today, but it's better than driving into another car. Or maybe it's not.
I shake the thought from my head and try to figure out where I am. I don't know how long I had been driving or where I was, nothing looked familiar. In front of me was a large forest, it looked very tempting. I got out of the car and grabbed my notebook and pencil from the backseat along with my guitar from the trunk before making my way onto the dirt path.
I walked for a few minutes before coming to an open field. It was empty, calm, relaxing; just what I needed at the moment. I go to the middle of the field and plop down on the bright green grass. I take in the scent of the nature around me and let the sun warm my skin. All I can see in my head is how perfect Allis would look in the sunlight. Her smiling face, eyes glistening bright. She was so beautiful. I can only picture her hair blowing in her face, slowly tangling by the second. I swallow the lump in my throat and open my eyes to the notebook laying on my lap.
The words come out so easily, as if they had been waiting to be written down. I had never thought of these lyrics before, but they felt so familiar, so effortless. They were real and deep, saying what I couldn't say out loud. This is what I did best, writing music. This is why I had followed my dream, why I did it all every single day. I was writing this song for Allis. When it came to her, it was easy to think of what to write.
I played a couple of chords over and over again, each one sounding better and better. It felt like I had been out here for hours and when I was finally ready to go home, I had felt accomplished with the song that I had just wrote. I couldn't wait to show the guys. This was it.
This was how I was going to get her back.
