𝑷𝑨𝑺𝑺𝑰𝑶𝑵

☀︎︎𝑺𝑰𝑿𝑻𝑬𝑬𝑵☀︎︎

"𝑫𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏"
𝑺𝑨𝑽𝑰𝑶𝑹 | 𝒔𝒂𝒗
FEBRUARY
Atlanta 📍

I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know who was hurt. And I didn't even know how I was reacting.

All I could think about was my father. This seemed to be a repeat of the trauma that still kept me up at night. I tried my best to hurry to the hospital like my mother had told me to.

But I was scared. I was scared of going there and seeing another one of my family members dead. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I wouldn't be able to handle seeing someone else I loved die in front of me.

It was hard to pay attention to the road. But what I did notice was the amount of red lights stopping me from being where I needed to be.

I hit every single red light.

That made me even more worried. Was I gonna be too late?

I just wished my mama would have told me what was going on. I hated surprises, simply because they tended to revolve around a death.

When I got to the hospital, I ran up to the emergency room. My mama, Rashawn , and Javier sat next to each other, somberly, in the blue waiting room chairs.

This could only mean that something happened to Mani.

"Mama? Ma? W-What happened?" I stood in front of her.

"Savior, Mani got shot three times. He said he was at Javier's house but Javier wasn't with him and- and," She stopped to wipe her tears. "He in surgery right now."

My heart dropped. I froze in my spot and my lungs heated in fire. I felt sick. I just had to get out of here. I had to get out. I had to get out.

My feet took me down the hall without me telling them to. My stomach emptied it self in the dull bathroom. As I felt myself kneeled over on the tiled floor, I couldn't help but be grateful for the coldness of the floor against my hot skin.

"I can't do this."

'Catch your breath, Junior. You have to catch your breath, baby. '

I was trying. I was trying to breathe, but it was hard. It was hard when every breath was painful.

"Savior! Savior! Come sit down."

I was back in the waiting room.

"You alright, bro?"

I needed to focus on breathing.

"Shawn, can you go get a nurse please? He having a panic attack and I don't-"

Maybe I needed to try doing this a different way. Maybe I needed to go outside. I think I just needed to leave.

"Honey, can you take a deep breathe for me," there was a white lady in my face. "Okay, now out. Good-"

My arm was grabbed and I was led into a small room. A elastic strap went over my head and I started to breathe better. I should've been able to do this by myself.

Some moments later, my eyes felt heavy. So heavy that I had to close them.

'Happy father's day, Sav.'

What was Mani even talking about? We had a father.

'I'm not pops, Mani. Im not a replacement for him either.''

He looked offended. Mani put his blue card back on the table.

'I know, but one of my teachers said to appreciate anyone in your life that's a father figure and you know- you like-' He stumbled over his words.