𝑷𝑨𝑺𝑺𝑰𝑶𝑵

☀︎︎𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑻𝒀 𝑻𝑯𝑹𝑬𝑬☀︎︎

"𝑭𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆"
SAVIOR |sav
MAY
Atlanta 📍

I was coming home from another night out. This was the sixth time. I chose to skip around with the days. Couldn't have too much consistency in these last couple of weeks.

The door was unlocked like usual. The difference was that, when I walked up the stairs, Jia was wide awake.

"Mama! I can't! I can't ask him!" She was crying. "He's never here and when he is, he smell like another female! I can't take care of Mari by myself!"

I only smelled like Aisha twice. After the last time we danced, I told her that we were strictly friends. She dropped a few hints and that's when I told her I wasn't down for the same thing she was.

Gee sounded broken. Her voice was cracking and beyond strained. I hadn't heard her cry like this in a while.

Her mama was on speaker phone, "You know better than to stay in a relationship that you're not happy in. Don't let that  same thing happen again, Gigi. You know better."

"It's not just that! I have no one. I have no one helping me with Samari besides you and pops and you both have to work. It's so hard, Ma. It's so so hard. I'm in here alone all day-" she sniffled, "all day taking care of him, with no breaks. I barely even eat anymore. I don't have any time  to myself."

I fucked up. I didn't know she was feeling like this.

"Drop him here tomorrow. I'll take the day off, okay Gigi?" Ali said smoothly. "And, I think you have postpartum depression. It's normal, but we need to take care of it."

"I don't know if I'll ever stop feeling like this, Ma. I feel so alone and defeated."

"You will. I know you will. It'll get better. I love you, Gigi. See you tomorrow."

"Love you too."

The call was ended, but Jia's cries just got louder and harder. She was crying like she lost someone.

I decided to walk upstairs to where she was. I assumed Samari was in his room, and Jia was in ours. The first thing I saw was Jia laid in the bed with her knees curled to her chest.

I needed to help her.

I got into the bed and pulled her into me, "Shhh, I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry."

Jia struggled to get out of my embrace the more she cried, "Get away from me. " She pushed against me before giving up. "I hate you. I hate you so so much."

This was the thing I was most afraid of. I never wanted her to feel like this, ever. I loved her too much to be putting her through this.

I had pushed her to the point where she despised me so much that she was balling her eyes out in our room while talking to her mother for help.

"Don't say that, Jia."

"I do. I hate you so much, Savior. I hate you."

"I still love you. I'll never stop loving you, even if you never talk to me again, ight?"

She didn't answer.

I kissed her forehead and held her as she cried herself to sleep.

___

This time, I woke up before her. She was still laying comfortably against my chest.

I took the opportunity to be the first one that Samari saw when he woke up.

"Hey, son. " He stared back at me. "You miss me? I missed you, Mari." I picked him up.

He was clearly confused.