Warbler Cries

Chapter 12 : Watched 24/7

Chapter 12

Sebastian POV

"You doing ok?" I asked Jeff.

He nodded. He was curled up beside me. Blaine and Nick were gone so they could talk.

"Do you still feel like you're going to pass out?" I asked.

"No. I just feel a tiny bit dizzy still. But that's it."

"You don't like the sight of blood, do you?"

"No. I hate it."

"So do I. Didn't you catch Blaine cutting in the bathroom though?"

"Yeah, but he was far away enough that I didn't really get a good look at it and I really had to use the bathroom so I never really felt sick."

"Oh..."

"Are you worried about him?"

"Honestly, yeah. He keeps saying he'll tell me when he wants to cut, but then he cuts without telling anyone. I don't know why he won't tell us so we can help. If he cuts too deep or in the wrong spot, it could get dangerous really quick. I don't want anything to happen to him."

"How are you doing with eating?"

"I'm doing better. I've been eating something at each meal. I'm not eating full meals every time, but I'm eating at least a little bit of something, which I think is a good start."

"Yeah, that's good."

"What about you? How's your anxiety?"

"Bad... I feel like I'm just constantly anxious no matter what."

"Do you know what helps?"

"Being with you guys. You guys make me feel better."

I put my arm around him.

"Good, I'm glad."

Nick POV

"Blaine, if you're not going to tell us when you feel like cutting, then we can't trust you to be alone. It's too dangerous."

"So what do you want me to do then?"

"I want you to be with one of us at all times so you can't cut without us knowing."

"What do you mean by all times?"

"Like literally all times, Blaine. This is so dangerous! I want someone to go with you to the bathroom. I want someone to go with you if you need to go to your locker. Literally, just stay with someone at all times. And one of us needs to check your wrists every day."

"Sebastian already does that."

"Ok, good. Blaine, if something happened to you, we would never be able to forgive ourselves. Do you get that?"

"Yeah... I'm sorry. I don't know why I can't stop."

"It's your depression. That's why. But if you talk to us about how you're feeling, we can try to help, Blaine. I don't get why you won't talk to us."

"I don't know... I guess I'm just embarrassed."

"Don't you think Jeff gets embarrassed from his panic attacks? Or Sebastian with his eating disorder? But they turn to us for help when they need it."

"I know. It's just hard for me. I feel so bad. I know I'm probably just making Jeff more anxious and stressing out you and Sebastian."

"It's ok, Blaine. But we just want to help you. So please tell us when you need help. Don't let it get to the point where you can't control yourself so you take it out on your wrists."