Chapter 37 - A Dealer's Goodbye

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Peyton Griffin's POV

When everything is perfect, a euphoric feeling courses through our veins. From the tips of our toes to the crown of our heads. Nerve endings will go haywire, but that's only the tip of the iceberg. It gets so perfect that you want to pinch yourself to ensure it's not a dream.

That Ladies and Gents is the feeling of kissing Caleb Parks.

As the tears pour down our faces, I kiss him as hard as he kisses me, but we don't fight for dominance. I allow him to explore every corner of my mouth and return the favour.

If I'm being honest, it's the best kiss I have ever had because I can't explain it.

A seed of doubt plants itself in my mind; if Caleb was a novice as everyone claims him to be, how is it possible he is this skilled with his mouth?

It's a shame that the person giving me such a euphoric feeling will never see me again, and this kiss will remain a memory.

As the kiss progressed, I chose this moment to answer the question I had asked myself earlier tonight. Jordan may have been the man I thought was for me a few months ago, but little did I know how wrong I was. And I am hardly ever wrong.

If it was Jordan that wanted something from me, and if he got fed up with asking, he would forget about it and pretend I didn't exist for a couple of weeks.

I know it sounds like a toxic relationship, but hey, could you blame me?

Look at the man that raised me and how my concept of love is as appealing as watching a rat trying to do doggie style with a snake.

I won't point fingers because I know we are all at fault for our downfalls, but sometimes I think about where it all started.

Now I don't mean my Grand Papi or Father dearest. I'm talking about the sole reason for my practical existence. The reason I don't have a woman to call a mother. The reason why I am who I am today.

The British Empire.

The rightful heir to it would be my sister and me. But after experiencing how my life could be without it, I find myself thinking, was it all worth it?

Could I still stay selfish and still be selfless?

Could I continue living here, push the consequences aside and just enjoy my life for a moment?

How ironic that even the woman who birthed me knew that I would know little to no joy in this life yet. I was still forced to live in it.

I do what I do for the people I love. For the people, I live for. For the people who deserve so much more than the life, they had been dealt with since birth. Most importantly, I do what I do because I know deep within me, I don't deserve the happiness I want for these people. I would gladly squash all chances of getting it if they got a chance to have theirs through that.

So without further ado, I pull out of the kiss and look into hazel mirrors.

Time slows down. The broken girl I see in his eyes is far from the picture I depict myself as.

He softly rubs his hand on my face. Our laboured breaths and the crunching of Jack's chewed popcorn can be heard in the room.

"If you let me go tonight, I promise I will be there when you get your happy ending. Deal?" I say, still keeping eye contact.

Caleb sighs, "You're not going to stay to meet her, are you?"

I looked at him because he already knew my answer, "What if I say you are my happy ending, that you are the person that should never leave? Because the ending is already here."

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