Chapter 4: Spirit of the law

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Cassian

"This is a waste of time—"

"You are going to repeat after me—"

"I'm not repeating after you, this is childish—"

"You're going to repeat after me—"

"Really, dad, come on now---"

"Oh, child, I can do this all day," my dad says, folding his arms. Most of the family spectators actually gave up at this point. So he and I are sitting in the living room while I regret a few life choices and I'm sure he does too.

"Dad. I'm seventeen. I'm not a child—"

"You are to me. You always will be to me. Now. Repeat after me," he says.

I groan.

"So I'll take that as a yes. We'll move right the fuck along. Repeat after me: I will not steal anyone's cattle—"

"But it was—"

"I will not steal anyone's cattle—"

"I will not steal anyone's cattle," I mumble.

"I will not steal anyone's cattle for any reason what so ever even if I think it my infantile deranged teenage brain that they were my cattle to begin with—"

"I will not steal anyone's cattle for any reason what so ever even if I think it my infantile deranged teenage brain that they were my cattle to begin with," I sigh (they were my cattle to begin with. A bet's a bet).

"—I will be a normal functioning human being and will NOT cause an international incident this summer."

"I will be a normal functioning human being and will NOT cause an international incident this summer."

"And above all else I will behave appropriately and not die, there done," he says, holding out a hand.

"And I will behave appropriately and not die," I sigh, shaking his hand.

"There, was that so hard?"

"It's stupid," you never make Peter do this stuff.

"Yes, yes it is stupid that I had to leave class because Detective Stamos called me to say you stole someone's cattle!"

"They were mine! How many more times do I have to explain this?" I groan.

"None, because I don't give a shit. You know how to be normal, Cassian, just be a little bit normal, okay? For your mother's sake? And mine?" he sighs, putting his hands through his hair, "Do you think you can find some constructive way to occupy your time? Like get a job maybe?"

"Yeah, sure, dad," I'll steal my cattle back is what I'll do. Peter will help he should be up by now.

"Good. I'm so glad you think that's something you can do. Because Hugh is going to follow you around and make sure you do it," he says, pointing to my older brother who has been at the book case (it's a book case they turned into a bar) making a drink for himself this entire time.

"What?" Hugh and I say, in unison.

"It's a great idea I just came up with—"

"No," Hugh says, "I quit. I'll die again. I'll revoke my immortality—"

"Calm down. All I'm telling you---not asking—telling----you to do is to watch your brothers and make sure neither of them die. Again," our father says, icily. "Make sure neither of them do anything stupid."

"It's a suicide mission," Hugh chokes.

"I don't care what they do—so long as they don't die, or wind up on the international news—local is acceptable, got it?" our dad asks.

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