The Fleece Job (Olympus Drive Chronicles)

Chapter 26: Doing something about the rat bastard demon hell child

Gale

"No, don't tell me, I want to be surprised when I turn on CNN," Jesper says, not looking up from the espresso he is making himself. He's wearing a silk bathrobe and is looking clean and relaxed and NOT like he spent the last eleven hours in the Underworld finding the rat bastard demon hell child.

I snap my fingers. Surprising people by appearing in their houses is one of my chief hobbies. And he's not even upset anymore. He just hears the noise and starts talking to me. He's gonna scare the hell out of a burglar someday.

"What? He won't answer my phone calls or my texts---what is it you want me to do here? I don't even know where he is," Jesper sighs, getting milk for his coffee. I pick up the coffee and drink it.

"Really?" he sighs, as I find a box of croissants he was probably going to eat for breakfast. I sit down on the counter to eat them.

"Seriously, there's nothing I can do until he's caught by police in which case I will show up, collect him, and have the boy declared mentally incompetent like apparently I should have done a long time ago-----are you going to eat all of those? Wait, have you been crying? Did anything happen? Would you show up to tell me our son was dead by eating all of my food and taking my coffee? I'm very concerned that you would and that I think you would," he says, folding his arms as I finish the last of the croissants.

I flip him off.

"Okay, well, what then? Can't I be surprised when I read the news? Honestly I have a routine---you're supposed to take the skin off of those, oh well yeah, they're a pound each knock yourself out," I'm eating his avocados in case you were wondering.

I finish the weird fruit and move on to the coffee machine I don't know how to use. He was going back to making more coffee. I am just going to assume for me.

"You don't look well though, is everything all right? Other than Jason?" he asks.

I glare and spread my arms out in an exasperated manner.

"He won't listen to me anymore. I don't know what's wrong with him---lately----don't look at me like that. I tried to keep him safe. He doesn't want to be safe. He wants to be—"

I point at him.

"Yes, I know, but I'm not interested in constructive criticism from you. Maybe if you'd spent more than a few hours at a time with him he'd have someone to look up to other than me," Jesper says.

I duck my head, angrily, too angry to keep the words in even if they don't want to come, "Don't you----don't you think -----don't you think---don't you think I know that?" I finally spit it out.

"I'm sorry," Jesper sighs, "I know. I'm just frustrated. He's a boy. I want him home. Safe. He's smart—,"

I start laughing.

"—cut that out. He could do well by himself. But instead apparently he doesn't want that," Jesper sighs, "I just don't know how to deal with him."

I struggle to stop laughing.

"Will you quit? He's not an idiot, all right? He just doesn't have good impulse control and he's stubborn. He's very smart. If he were stupid he'd have been caught a long time ago."

I am still giggling.

"What? I suppose you know where he is now?" Jesper asks, picking up his phone, "Let me guess—the Louvre? He's done the Smithsonian—what Fort Knox? Has he moved from heists to kidnapping?"

I nod.

"From where? Buckingham Palace? The boy never considered the second part of the phrase, 'go big or go home'. Seriously. He could try coming home," Jesper mutters, scrolling the news.

I shrug.

"What? Where is he now?" he asks, tiredly.

"Hell," I say, licking my lips in pleasure that I got it out in one go.

"You'd better be kidding."

I shake my head no.

"What----is this how you're telling me he's dead I swear to god Gale—,"

I shake my head no really hard.

"What he's alive?"

I nod.

"But he's in hell?"

I nod.

"I don't even want to know why," he groans, putting his face in his hands.

"No you---you---you—you don't," I say, nodding.

"Why is eighty percent of your actual communication sassy?"

I shrug.

"No seriously—okay I need to know what the fuck you are talking about right now," Jesper says, taking a deep breath, "Where is he? What has he done? Lately?---How did he even get to hell------DON'T YOU DARE SHRUG!!!"

I wince. Time to go. I hate it when people are mad at me. I tap the phone to indicate he should call Jason.

"If you disappear after telling me that I will--,-"

I leave.