Chapter 19: In Jason we trust

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Jason

I am the only thing getting us out of here alive. And by us, I mean me. The good looking boy I'm rescuing is already dead. I hope he's not this sarcastic when he's alive.

"So you just came here with---no plan?"

"The plan is fluid—shhh," I say, as we dodge down another alley. There have been more patrols of scary looking women in dark robes. I'm guess they're guards or something. I can hear faint rock music. Queen, 'We Will Rock You'. I'm guessing that's the distraction going on.

"As in the plan evaporated?" Ari asks, as he follows me, "Do you seriously think we are just going walk on out of here?"

"No. We need to get back to the north---the top end of the river. That's where our boat kind of landed. Then we sail back out the whirlpool," I say, "Charon can't help us because he can't transport souls the other way. So, I don't really know why he's here."

"Because you're funny. You're really funny to me. You don't understand how entertaining the idiotic things you do and dumbass ways you die are to me," Charon is following us and videoing this. "I'm staring a video diary. I wish I had one of these things sooner. It'll be on my Youtube channel. I'm calling it, 'Incapable' after you, you dumb bastard."

"Thanks very little---" the last thing I want is my actual crimes being posted on the internet. Watching now, dad?

"You're welcome. Just act natural. Be the stupid way you are, pretend I'm not here," Charon says, still videoing us.

"You know my Uncle Hector is gonna take your phone away again when he finds out you're videoing heroes," Ari growls.

"Incapable is not a hero. He's an idiot at best."

"Can please stop calling me---oww, what is with this thing?" I trip and nearly fall over the rust sword, "I left that in the skiff."

"Missed ya."

"It's an inanimate object," I growl.

"Actually it might not be—those are ruins," Ari says, picking it up. He cleans the pommel with his thumb, "See? A sorceress carved those, that's a woman's script. I don't know the precise enchantments. I'd need my notebooks. But I'd guess it is bound to its owner."

"Him," Charon puts the phone in my face.

"It has a zoom," I growl, pushing the phone away.

"I don't see any zooms. Say, do you get coin for posting things on youtube?"

"No. You don't. In fact when you do people come and take your coin away," I say, taking the sword as Ari hands it to me.

"You'd best keep it," Ari tells me, "It seems to want you."

"Couldn't it be cursed though?" I ask.

"Dude, how much worse do you think your situation could get? You're in the Underworld, with one of the most wanted spirits in existence, trying to find your way out with exactly zero plan, while a ten thousand year old alien deity live streams the experience. A cursed sword really is an improvement on your current situation. At best, you'll die more quickly."

"Yeah and in a heroic, non idiotic, or pathetic manner," Charon says, "Go on, we're live."

"He's live streaming!!? How does he know how to do that?" I ask, ripping Charon's phone away. Sure enough. He is live streaming this. I quit the stream. "I'm so dead."

"It's not that dramatic. He's only got one follower and that's----yeah Zephyr. He's a friendish of my dad," Ari hands Charon back his phone.

"Yeah, Zeph's a good boy. Always has coin," Charon says, for all appearances restarting the live stream. He can't be because I took out his SIM card  and turned off his wifi.  To be safe I returned the phone to the camera app so he can play with that.

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