I had the best dream last night.
I think it was because of something Sam showed me. The video she posted about shut fuck mountain that had me laughing so hard and rewatching.
This older man tells his wife, maybe it's time to take her home in a pacifying way, she's had too much to drink.
She gives him a death glare and slams her dinner plate down on the table with a clash, everyone else at the table going quiet as if this outburst is entirely uncharacteristic of her and has been a long time coming.
"Vince look at me, look at me in the windows to my soul. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Shut all the way the fuck up until you reach the top of shut fuck mountain where there are no more fuck ups to shut!" she says.
God the way I laughed and watched it over and over.
And the dream I had was the same.
I was having dinner with my family, and I dont remember what I said specifically to them... but I really just unleashed hell. I gave them the most severe and visceral honesty from the pure livid being in my mind.
I opened my mouth to speak and out came the coldest of fire to freeze and burn them all at once and it felt fucking amazing.
I called out their hypocrisy, their naivety, their lack of compassion. I showed them the dark parts of themselves they're in such denial about.
I felt like they were finally knocked of their self righteous fucking high horse and the looks on their faces were worth ever single lash of my tongue.
I felt vindicated through my own strength and wit. Through my own courage.
I felt redeemed. And I just wanted to remember this feeling because it's rare that I have good dreams. About 80% are misery and fear.
So to feel so proud of myself. To be able to give them the rawest piece of my fucking mind was a treat.
And when I woke up I finally felt free.
And that is all.
