My dear friend. I used to know you like the back of my hand.
So familiar. Such second nature to know you're there.
I've been thinking about you lately. Since we had our talk.
Since you confessed. That you still care for me deeply like I thought you didnt so much anymore.
I feel overwhelmed. I feel conflicted.
Because I cannot deny the lingering feelings I still have for you.
I think they will always be there in a way. Whether we are just the oldest of friends or something more.
You are like a warmth that was constantly tucked underneath my ribs. A security of trust and an unbiased listening ear. Someone dependable. Someone safe.
We are both on our own journey that is in so many ways the same.
And we understand each other in ways that most people don't.
You've known me deeper than most. Heard thoughts from the depths of my mind and seen some of my darkest moments. You've held my secrets in your palm.
But I can't deny that you are not the only one I care for at all.
You see all this took me by surprise. Everyone wanting my attention at once. Everyone confessing their feelings.
I dont really know which way to hold my head.
Because for so long I assumed...
For so long I thought we were in the past. I thought we would have no real chance because of the circumstances.
And I'm unsure of myself and my decisions.
And so I choose myself above all else.
For now.
For now I must choose my own goals and happiness above all else.
I choose myself first. As should you. Everything else will fall into place.
The future is unknown. But what I can count on is that whatever is meant to be seen will work itself out.
Whatever path I'm meant to take will attract me to it and it to me.
