A Feeling Of Normality [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

Part 3. Secrets.

Not moving her eyes away from him, both [Y/N] and Bucky wait for their breathing to settle. Only then does she stand up and walks over to the soldier. She lets her gaze wander through the broken bedroom, especially the floor, which has almost broken through the apartment below. "Sorry for your room" she says and holds out her hand to Bucky to help him get up. She doesn't even know if someone lives below him but she hopes not because the noises would have surely woken them up.

"Sorry for attacking you" he replies but gets up on his own without taking her hand. The surprise of his attack is still deep and he doesn't want to accidentally hurt her. He too lets his gaze wander through his bedroom and sees the resulting chaos of the short fight. But what particularly catches his eye is a small elevation in the ground right in front of the hole from [Y/N]'s impact. He couldn't have done that with his attack. Actually, it couldn't come from any impact. He lifts his gaze slowly until he looks into [Y/N]'s eyes, his right eyebrow slightly raised because he suspects that this elevation is not purely natural.

"How about some tea?" asks [Y/N]. She can see the sceptical look he gives her but tries to ignore it, not giving away how uncomfortable she feels. 

"Sure."

They go to the kitchen together and Bucky puts on a pot of hot water and silence surrounds them. He gestures to her to sit down on the two-seater couch and still wonders if she's a spy and a threat and where this earth elevation came from. "Are you okay?" [Y/N] asks while Bucky leans against the wall to her right. Her look is sincere and concerned.

Bucky answers this question with just a quick nod. "You?"

"I'm fine. Sorry for breaking in but I was really worried."

"Worried about me?" Bucky asks skeptically and [Y/N] nods. He sighs and wipes his face with his right hand as if he can't believe what is going on. "Okay... Can we please stop pretending you haven't seen my arm? Because that..." He points to the bedroom "... just really happened. You could have been dead!" His voice sounds desperate and he really feels that way. He stopped hurting people once he was freed from his brainwash and now this has happened. On top of it, his neighbor has always been kind to him, which would have made it just worse if he had accidentally hurt her.

"You repeat yourself" [Y/N] replies dryly, unimpressed by what has happened. "Listen... I know who you are. Well, I do now. I didn't know until a few minutes ago. But would you prefer me to run away screaming?"

Bucky looks at his counterpart in surprise and thinks about her words. He doesn't know what he was expecting but this answer caught him off guard. Yet he doesn't know if it's a good sign that she's so calm about the situation. "Others would have."

"I'm not like others."

"Neither am I."

"I know."

The small room falls silent again until the bubbling sound of the water indicates that it is time for tea. "Leave that to me" says [Y/N] and gets up from the sofa, takes the pot from the stove and pours the water into the two prepared cups. She takes a cup in each hand and walks over to Bucky. "James, so?" she asks while she looks deep into his eyes.

Bucky takes a close look at his counterpart but he can't see any fear in her [y/ec] eyes, just curiosity and empathy. He has no idea who this woman is but she doesn't seem like a threat. Her whole body language indicates the contrary so Bucky is almost sure that she's not dangerous for him. "For now, I think" he replies and takes the cup with his metal arm. He wonders how she knows his name but a lot of strange things have just happened and this is just another confusing part he'll worry about later when she's gone. And at the moment, he has a feeling that she's safe.

[Y/N] smiles and then gives Bucky the distance he currently needs by sitting back down on the small couch. "[Y/N]" she now introduces herself to her neighbor. "I guess it's only fair if you know my real name too."

Bucky nods in thanks. "That bump... in the bedroom-"

"Yes" interrupts [Y/N]. "But... I won't make you tell me what you've dreamed if you don't make me talk about this." Bucky shakes his head. It sounds like a good compromise for now. "But when... I mean, if you want to talk about it... I live next door. I know that these dreams have haunted you for a while now."

"As long as I can remember" he replies, without [Y/N] knowing how much truth there is in this statement.

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Bucky and her talk to each other for a while that night, mostly about trivial matters. She knows that Bucky doesn't want to talk about his past or dreams and she would never force him to. But she can distract him so that hopefully he will get other thoughts and sleep more peacefully. And Bucky really calms down and relaxes more and more around [Y/N]. He has of course noticed her efforts over the past few months and has tried his best to keep her away from him. But as they're sitting together now, he feels less panicked than he usually feels after waking up from his nightmares. She somehow calms him down and even if he knows that it would be safer to keep her away from him, he wants to enjoy this feeling a little longer. A storm rages inside him because he knows about all the dangers and yet he cannot deny that he is interested in [Y/N]. And all these confusing thoughts kind of calm down when she is around him.

"Are you feeling better?" asks the latter Bucky around 4 o'clock in the morning after they slowly run out of things to talk about. Not that there is much they have talked about in first place. Silence surrounded them more than once until one of them broke it with some small talk. In response, Bucky nods and [Y/N] gives him a gentle smile. "Good." She gets up from the sofa and walks up to Bucky, who was for the whole the time being, either leaning against the wall or sitting on the kitchen counter. [Y/N] holds out her hand as if to shake hands with him. "It's been a pleasure James."

James.
He likes how normal the name coming from her lips sounds, even if strange at the same time.

"Likewise" he replies and shakes her hand, an amused smile appears on the lips of both of them.

"You don't have to worry about your secret, if that's what you think. But then I expect that you can keep one to yourself."

"You mean, besides your real name being [Y/N]?" Bucky grins at her and the woman giggles and nods.

She turns away from him then and heads to the bedroom. She closes the door behind her and Bucky follows her in astonishment while he hears dull noises coming from inside the room. Only a few seconds later, [Y/N] opens the door, an uncertain but happy grin on her lips. "Everything's fixed."

She leans against the door frame now, Bucky right in front of her, standing much closer than he likes to but he looks over her shoulder curiously to see that the floor has been repaired as if nothing had ever happened. "How..." he mumbles in amazement and turns back to his company.

Her [y/ec] eyes almost glow in the dark. "It's a secret. Remember?"

"Okay" is all Bucky can say.

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A/N: I know you're probably wondering about their weird behavior but please remember that Bucky was still proceeding what had happened to him before he met Steve again and was very careful. I think it's a big step for him to start an actual conversation with her at all. Also, your character is careful, too but she is not shy. You care about Bucky because you feel connected to him because you both seem lonely.