A Feeling Of Normality [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

Part 27. The Person Now.

"You sure you're good?" [Y/N] asks cautiously when she stands at Bucky's door, about to leave and head to Steve. Bucky nods slightly and gives her a gentle smile. He's still confused by their kiss and he can feel his dried tears on his face and decides to take a shower as soon as she leaves. Maybe the hot water will even help him to feel better and wash away the pain he just felt when her lips crashed on his. [Y/N] puts her hand on Bucky's cheek and strokes it gently while she looks deep into his eyes. "What's going on in that big cyborg brain of yours right now?"

"That you worry too much" he replies in a rough voice and grins mischievously at her, chuckling slightly about her words that are once again so similar to Sam's and show off how well the two of them get along by now. He then leans forward and kisses [Y/N] again as he grabs the doorknob with his hand and opens the door for her. "You better leave now because if you stay here any longer, I won't be able to let you go. And I need some time for myself now."

[Y/N] grins at Bucky and kisses him on the cheek. She tastes the salt of his tears that were running down his face just a few minutes ago. "Goodnight then." Once out of the room, she turns around to face him again, a grin on her lips. "Softie" she winks.

Bucky returns the grin, his eyes glistening at her playfully. "Goodnight, [Y/N]." And as he closes the door, a gentle smile lying on his lips, he wonders if [Y/N]'s words do contain a trace of truth after all. Maybe there is a little softie in him by now. But if so, then only when it comes to her.

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Only when Bucky has closed his door does [Y/N] allow herself to lean against a wall in the hallway and take a deep breath. She is still very upset from the experience. Her body trembles slightly at the memory of how surprised Bucky had reacted, how tears ran down his face and he shivered slightly, but held her so tightly that she couldn't pull away from the kiss to comfort him. He had clung to her lips as if they were comfort enough and she could feel it all: the pain and despair as he reproached himself for unnecessary self-blame and the affection he feels for her. While [Y/N] is still thinking about it, her fingers wander to her lips as if there is still a trace of the kiss to be felt there.

Maybe she should postpone her upcoming conversation with Steve until tomorrow and go back to Bucky. Maybe they should talk about what just happened. But then again, he just said he wants to be alone now and she wants to respect his wishes. Still, she can't get rid of the feeling that Bucky is just withdrawing and that distance is the wrong solution.
The day had already been upsetting and confusing for [Y/N] but now it has reached its high and even if she feels torn, she decides to comply with his wish for the time being and looks almost relieved towards the conversation with Steve because it will at least be less confusing.

[Y/N] then knocks on the said door and Steve opens it sleepily. Since he wasn't expecting a visitor, he wears nothing more than boxershorts and immediately blushes when he sees [Y/N] standing in front of him. "[Y-Y/N]" he stutters her name and closes the door a bit to hide behind it.

"Nice outfit, Rogers" she just chuckles. "I'm not used to seeing you dress so revealingly."

"What do you want, [Y/N]?" Steve asks as he rolls his eyes, yet there's a slight grin on his lips.

"I came to talk. You have a minute? I'll let you get dressed beforehand though."

"One moment" replies Steve and is glad that the darkness hides the still existing blush on his cheeks. He briefly closes the door and slips into sweatpants and a shirt. "Come in" he then says to [Y/N] as he opens his door again.