A Feeling Of Normality [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

Part 24. A Feeling To Relate To.

A few hours later [Y/N] leans against one of the walls and faces Bucky, who's sitting on the couch. Neither of them left the room today because [Y/N] didn't feel like it. Even lunch was brought to them by Natasha. [Y/N] had been lost in thoughts all day long. When she had thought of the stories she had read about herself, new silent tears ran down her face. When she could no longer sit still, she just got up and paced the room because she felt the need to do something but didn't know what. And Bucky hadn't left her alone for a second.
"You know, you don't have to do that" [Y/N] says, still focusing on Bucky.

Said one looks up from his book, which had piqued his interest when his gaze wandered over her bookshelf earlier. He knew [Y/N] didn't want to talk or get distracted, so he had just picked up the book and sat with her in silence. He raises his right eyebrow and checks her new position from which she is watching him. "Just to make sure we're talking about the same thing: What's that thing I don't have to do?"

"Taking care of me. It's not like I'm going to hurt myself or run away." [Y/N] grins but Bucky could hear the sadness in her voice. As is well known, there is a spark of truth behind every joke.

"I'm not taking care of you" he replies dryly and looks back at his book but doesn't continue reading. He knows that she's going to answer as soon as she can come up with an answer.

"How else would you call it that you haven't left my side in hours?"

Bucky grins and creases a little corner into the page he's reading to find it again later and then closes the book. [Y/N] may be tired from her nervous breakdown, but her eyes are already glaring at him as challengingly as he is used to. He doesn't know why she does that sometimes, but he enjoys the ease that every conversation gets through her cheeky manner. And after all those hours of pain and sadness, watching her trying not to freak out, it's a nice change. If he thinks about it more closely, that's probably the reason why he was able to open up to her so much. Despite the pity and care she feels for him, she has always conveyed a naturalness and lightness that made Bucky feel like he was nothing special - in a good way. She treated him like everyone else, like he was normal, when he didn't feel normal at all.
He focuses back on his counterpart. "What I'm doing here ..." he replies with an exaggerated pause and smirks. "Is called: keeping you company."

[Y/N] crosses her arms over her chest and raises her eyebrow at him but Bucky can see that she's still looking for the perfect words to retaliate and he mimics her gesture with the eyebrow. The cheeky grin on his lips makes it difficult for [Y/N] to stay serious. Somehow, they started a challenge of who's going to win this conversation. She knows that Bucky just wants to help her and feels guilty about robbing him of his time. But he's too nice to just leave, even if she convinces him that she's okay. That's why she needs to convince him somehow different.

Bucky raises his eyebrows a little higher and looks challengingly at her. No matter what she says next, he's ready to counter.

A sigh escapes [Y/N]'s lips when she realizes she can't think of a suitable answer and that Bucky has won. Her features soften as her lips form a grateful smile. "I'm fine, Buck. You don't have to keep me company."

"Fine?" Bucky repeats, his eyebrows still raised, as he looks at her skeptically.

 "Okay, maybe not fine" [Y/N] answers, rolling her eyes. "But I'm better. I will be fine though. You can go and do whatever a Bucky Barnes usually does."

Bucky's features also relax a little now but the skeptical expression remains while he puts his book aside. He gets up from the sofa and walks towards [Y/N]. "Well, there's one little thing you didn't consider."

"What thing?" asks [Y/N] and has to swallow when Bucky doesn't stop and forces her to walk backwards until her back hits the wall. Startled, her eyes widen while Bucky leans his left forearm against the wall at head level, so that he is now bent over her, leaving her no way to escape. Their faces are so close that she can feel his warm breath on her skin again, the perception of which is reinforced by her airbending skills. This self-confident Bucky, who knows exactly what effect he has on women, throws her off the hook every time. He has a completely different influence on her. He takes her breath away, makes her speechless, nervous and is drowning out all her confidence and she hates that. But she hates him even more because he knows about that effect. Just like now, when his grin is giving him away. [Y/N] would like to push him away and tell him to wipe off that confident grin but in reality, she can only feel her heartbeat picking up its pace and the heat that runs through her veins, making it unable for her to move while her knees feel all weak.