A Feeling Of Normality [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

Part 20. Drawings.

When [Y/N]'s alarm clock goes off the next morning, it is so early that the sun has not even risen. With quiet steps she walks down the hallway until she stands in front of Steve's door and listens there briefly if she can hear any noises. She doesn't want to wake him up but she definitely doesn't want to miss his departure. Fortunately, or because she knows him so well, Steve is already awake, so [Y/N] can enter the room after a careful knock on the door.
Steve looks at her with curious eyes but is still happy to see her once more before leaving. "I still don't know where you and Nat are going but make sure to get back safe. Both of you."

"Don't worry" Steve replies with a smile but he can see the wave of emotions in [Y/N]'s eyes. She is seriously worried about her friends and wants to disagree with Steve and convince him that she can help. But she knows that he wouldn't change his mind. Still, it hurts her not to know where their journey is going or why they're leaving in first place.

"How could I not?" snorts [Y/N]. "The last time you left for a mission, you disappeared from the picture for months."

Inevitably, Steve has to grin because if he had been told a year ago that [Y/N] Sharp would worry about him, he would only have raised his eyebrows in contempt. But they're friends now. Best friends. Only now does Steve become even more aware of how much has changed in the last months and how important the woman in front of him is to him, that he is even going on a secret mission to alleviate her pain.

He pulls [Y/N] into a tight hug, which she returns just as tightly as she clings onto Steve as if that is how she can persuade him to stay. She doesn't know why he's leaving but she knows that his secrecy doesn't mean anything good. "Will you ever tell me what's going on?" she sighs against his chest.

Steve replies with a sigh by his own. [Y/N] has always been honest with him and he doesn't like to keep things from her but he knows that if he tells her about his plan, she wouldn't let him do it. She would want to talk him out of the matter and they would probably end up arguing, both thinking they're in the right. "I'll tell you everything when we get back. Promised" he says and places a soft kiss on her head, his hand wanders up and down her back soothingly.

"There's no way to stop you, right?"

Even if [Y/N] can't see it because they are still hugging each other tightly, she can feel him shaking his head. She releases herself from his embrace and her hands wander to his arms, which she now grips as tightly as his muscles allow it and looks deep into his blue eyes. "Then come back quickly and safely."

"Of course. Who else is going to take care of you and Barnes?" Steve waves her a grin and hopes it is hiding his own worries. It is different from going on a secret mission as a government hunted instead of going on a mission for a secret government organization.

"About that..." [Y/N] mumbles and lets go of Steve's arms, while her right eyebrow is raised to look at him reproachfully. "If you flirt with me one more time just to piss off your best friend, you'll get into real trouble with me!"

"Well it worked, didn't it?" Steve grins cheekily at his friend.

"Not that it's your business, Rogers. Let it be a warning."

Steve looks at her with a smile as he grows warm with affection, feeling glad to see her and Bucky happier than they once were. "Don't do anything stupid until I get back" Steve says and opens his arms to hug her again. This time, to say goodbye to her.

"How can we? You're taking all that stupidity with you."

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A few days later, Bucky enters [Y/N]'s room and finds her sitting on the floor surrounded by papers. Her hair is tied in a bun and individual strands of hair hang loosely around her face. Her forehead is creased while she is looking at the paper in front of her in concentration, the pen in her hand is moving quickly back and forth. It's been two days since Natasha and Steve left and it is easy to see how worried [Y/N] is. She has barely left her room since they left. Even now she seems so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't heard his knock at all. Bucky actually came to talk to her but now all he can do is stand there and watch her draw and wonder if he should really be bothering her. Almost desperately, she keeps looking at the paper in her hand before moving the pencil again. Bucky suspects that the papers around her are sketches that she no longer needs because some papers are crumpled up. He and everyone else had given her the distance she needed yesterday so he decides to get her out of her bladder today. Carefully approaching [Y/N] he then kneels down next to her. Only now can he see the picture [Y/N] is currently working on: a drawing of Steve. Immediately, Bucky feels a slight knot in his stomach, similar to the jealousy feeling he felt two days ago. Though, there is no reason to be jealous of his best friend. Steve had made it more than clear that nothing ever happened between him and [Y/N] and [Y/N] would certainly not have kissed him if that had changed. His two friends wouldn't do that to him.
Bucky carefully strokes some of [Y/N]'s hair behind her ear and asks in an almost whisper: "What are you doing?"