A Feeling Of Normality [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

Part 31. Saving The Winter Soldier.

At some point, Wanda arrives at the memories of [Y/N]'s final escape. The escape she told them about. She has already seen enough private information from [Y/N]'s life to break off there. It seems like these are all memories [Y/N] has left. The last memories of her missions had been particularly hard to bear for Wanda. Shivering, she lowers her hands and the red energy flowing around them disappears.

When [Y/N] opens her eyes they are veiled with tears and Wanda is already crying. "Are you okay, [Y/N]?" she asks cautiously, moving her hands to her friends arms to hug her, still trembling. "I'm sorry. We should have taken a break" she mumbles apologizing.

Said one shakes her head quickly which causes the tears to come out of her eyes and run down her face. She quickly wipes them away. "You did everything right. Thank you, Wanda."

"I'm so sorry" Wanda sobs with sympathy.

[Y/N] quickly pulls back and grabs Wanda's face to wipe away her friends tears with her thumbs. "Please don't cry. I'm fine, okay?" she tries to calm her down. "It's what I needed."

Instead of answering, Wanda wraps her arms around [Y/N] again. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asks a short time later.

The [y/hc] haired woman smiles thankfully at Wanda, even though her smile is weak. "You've done more than enough already. I've seen myself as a monster for the past weeks. Now I know it's not like that. That's more than I ever expected to find out. I can work with that."

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Wanda's help took more time than [Y/N] would have expected and it's already evening when she leaves her friend's room. The building is filled with a pleasant scent that makes her stomach growl.

[Y/N] slips quickly into the bathroom to wash her face with cold water to avoid any traces of her previous tears. Her memories are painful and full of sorrow but she knows now that she fought against Hydra for as long as possible. This knowledge does not diminish her feelings of guilt towards the victims but it does dissolve her hatred of herself. She knows now that Steve was right with his words and she feels relieved. But there's more. She remembers her best friend and that she told her to move on. She knows that Emily wouldn't want her to drown herself in guilt but to focus on what's ahead. And she will. For Emily and for herself.

She leaves the bathroom a couple of minutes later, knowing that dinner will be served soon and if she remembers correctly, it's Sam's duty today and that man surely knows how to cook.

As she enters the dining room, everyone is already there and welcomes her with a smile on their faces. "Hey [Y/N]. Where have you been all day long?" Natasha asks.

"Yeah, you missed our training session!" Sam complains from the kitchen as he finishes up the meal.

"I'm sorry! I was with Wanda all day long" she apologizes and turns to her red haired friend to wave her a smile to once again assure her that she's fine. Her gaze then meets Bucky's, who looks at her worriedly but tries to hide his emotions from her and his other friends. She waves him a quick smile but feels a slight pain in her chest as she remembers all the times Hydra mentioned him. He is part of her life for way longer than he is aware of. They might have never met but there has always been a connection between the two of them even if it was only for scientific purposes.

It can only be seen briefly. The brief flicker in her eyes as the smile that was meant for him slowly disappears and an uncertainty becomes visible the moment she turns to Steve that probably no one else noticed. But nobody watches her so closely as Bucky does which is why he sees it immediately. He feels an insecurity, trying to find out the reason for that change of expression. He had been worried about her all day long. [Y/N] had told him that she'd meet up with Wanda but the team hadn't seen either woman since lunchtime which is unusual because even though Wanda and [Y/N] are friends, they usually don't spend as much time together.