When love happenes

Chapter 48 alex

As we pull up outside bowling i turn to face Lilly who still holding my hand but she crying but silent her tears are roll down her face she quickly tries hiding her tears
Alex-hey baby what's wrong
Lilly-nnnothing let go
She get out the car I walk over to once locked the door
Alex-Lills stop ,talk to me did I do something please tell me
She goes walk away I grab her arm pull her back she walk into my arm and cry's into my chest I'm sorry she says
Alex-what wrong baby please tell me
Lilly-I'm sorry running this day but today but should  of found out what gender both of our baby's not just our boy our daughter died I feel like can't breath our son going grow up with his sister
Alex-sh baby I know he hurts but we will get through this we have so far haven't we
Lilly-NO!! It's seems like everyone has forgotten we lost our daughter let forgotten about her move how do I move or get through this
Ive seen her angry I've seen her sad but I've never seen her this broken it like she's been told all over again that our daughter didn't make it.
Alex-Lills come here baby nobody has forgotten we will never forgot about the the baby
Lilly-No stop I can't listen to this all sudden she runs off I go stop her but I hear someone call her name I turn around it Liam then look back at Lills but she's gone
Liam-Lilly bear where you going
Alex-SHIT Where did she go
Liam-what happened is everything okay with baby
Alex-yes our baby is fine I won't tell you gender yet I'll wait till she calms down she thinks everyone forgotten about our daughter that dies she was fine in-till we was on way here she so broken I've never seen her like this
Liam-I think tonight you too need be alone I know it was family night but it's not family night with Lilly so we will do another night me and Kat will have kids Lilly dad is here too and so we have few games but please al make sure she's okay
Alex-thank you bruv phone me if you hear off her
I get back in my car start driving everywhere where I know she's goes the beach ,the lake ,the mountain view I start worry I can't not find my girl so I decide go home I hope she's there.
I arrive home the door is locked which isn't good sign but maybe she locked door after she was inside I rush around house in every room the garden but no sign
Alex-Lilly i shout but no answer she's not here
I get phone out text her
Alex-Lills baby where are you please come home or ring me text me I need know your okay I love you so much xxxxx
Half hour later still no sign I phone kat
Katie-hello
Alex-Kat please tell me she's with you I said while crying
Katie-I've tried phoning her I can't get hold of now I'm getting worried
Alex-I don't where else look where would she go I've looked everywhere
Katie -have check other beach other side of town the rock beach do you want me to go I'm nearer
Alex-head there just incase if she there text me please just need know she's okay Thanks kat I owe you
Katie-don't be silly you both family
20 mins later  I get text of Kat
Katie-she's not here I've been walking all around I don't where she would be.
Alex-thank you for checking
Katie-text as soon as you find her we have kids for as long as you need
Alex will do
All sudden I remember her saying she found new quiet place right outside her work cliff Weston there lovely lake there she loved looking out the view.That's where she's gotta be i really hope she she is.
I drive there I get out car there she is sitting on cliff throwing rocking into the lake she looks so sad and broken looks like she hasn't soo crying I get phone out
Alex-I found her don't worry she's okay I'll speak to you later or tomorrow
Katie-thank goodness okay hope she's okay
I walk over just sit next her not saying a word she places her head on my shoulder and cry's
Alex-baby I'm here I'm always always
Lilly-AL I can't breath I can't hope what am I suppose do I've been acting so strong for you and twins I never really had time to process what has happened
Alex-baby it broke me so much but I need be here for you I need be one who you need I need be strong I think together we move forward but never forget her baby I think we should have named her I hope she will be looking down proud of us of how far we have become.
Lilly-I would like to name her Lexi creeds that what I would of name her if you agreed
Alex-well that's her name Lexi now baby talk to me I want you get everything out I don't want you hold back
Lilly-I feel So stupid for crying that all ever seem todo I'm in so pain pain why do I ah e cry I don't get it why can't I be strong like you
Alex-Trust me. I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you. I know what it's like to wait for everyone to be asleep so you can fall apart. For everything to hurt so bad you just want it all to end .I know exactly how it feels I do but not in-front of you as I need to be there for you I don't want break down in-front you as I know how bad your hurting
Lilly-Alex your hurting I can see it I hate when I see a tear drop in your eye and I hate it most when I know the reason is me it's all my fault your hurting.
Alex-No it's not you none of this is your fault please need start believe that you have done nothing wrong
Lilly-I've always believe that When you experience loss, people say you'll move through the 5 stages of grief  Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance but one thing they never tell you is  that you'll cycle through them all every day single day.
Alex-it's true you can go through the 5 stages every day but in time you will heal it will get easy but lexi will never ever be forgotten I tell you I promise you
Lilly-thank you much Alex I'm sorry if I worried you
Alex-you did worry me I looked everywhere for you even Katie look places for you I need you promise me something now please no more running we need work through things together be are better together than apart
Lilly I promise babe I love you ,I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life.
I start to cry I don't like crying infront of her but her words touch me I love her so much
Alex- When I look at you, I can feel it. I look at you and I'm home I swear I couldn't love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow and I choose you And I'll choose you over and over and over Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I'll keep choosing you,your my world and I love you forever and always babe
Lilly stands hand me her hand and says come on babe take me home
I stand up before we walk away I grab her pull her close to me I just want hold her just for few minutes
I lift her chin up and kiss her and slide my tongue in
Alex-mmm I love you your my world baby
Lilly-I love so much and more
I pick her up she wraps her legs around me without break out kiss I carry her to car I lean her against car I whisper let finish this at home baby.
We both get in car she want me to drive she put some music on she starts rubbing my leg as I'm driving
Alex-Lills come on wait we get back be fair your turn me on now
Lilly-mmm but I want you now she reach over start nibbling at my ear
Alex-mmm okay baby we nearly home
I put my foot down dam it why we live so far!!