Loki And The Thief

True Self Pt2

Y/N stared at the map, unsure of what to do. The map was made of an aged parchment which opened and folded in an unusual pattern, and it had been perfectly protected from any water damage or tear. 

Looking at it intensely, she held it up to the light to see if there were any tell tale signs of invisible ink or watermarks visible. None. With a sigh she rolled it back up and turned to the rest of the group who were sat around a fire, expecting her to have gained something from her close, long inspection of the map. 

The look of disappointment on their faces hurt a little, but Loki tried to hide it more. Something else seemed to bother him, though she wasn't sure what. She warmed herself by the heat of the fire and sighed loudly as she couched down and wrung her hands. She was tired and hungry, and still in a great deal of pain. She had only a few healing herbs left in her pack, and while she was still injured, the wounds had begun to knit themselves together, and to use any more would be unwise.

'No luck?' Thor asked kindly.

'No.' She replied, looking down to the ground, sorry to disappoint them all. 'I don't understand it. I have to reveal something, about myself? Know who I truly am. But I already do know who I am, but still it won't show me the map.'

Nitid moved closer and put her hand over Y/N's 'Have you tried everything?' she asked, and Y/N looked up to her sadly.

'Yes, I just don't get it.'

'Look, you usually find something like this resides deeper. Talk to me.' Nitid moved closer still, and Y/N moved away rejecting any maternal comfort Nitid was trying to offer.

Listen,' Y/N began carefully, 'I don't mean to be rude but, I don't think you can help me with this. I know you're supposed to be my mother, but I had a mother on earth. As much as we argued and clashed, I did love her. As much as we seemed distant... she still tucked me in at night and ensured I was safe. I know you want to help, but you don't know me. I am an adult now, and you can't take back all those years of...' She trailed off.

'Years of what, Y/N?' Nitid asked concerned. Y/M Looked down to the ground, so angry. How could Nitid be so blind?  She thought and began squeezing her hands into fists.

'Years of waiting. Years of wondering. Of KNOWING I was not meant to be on that planet. The years of pining for a home that to me, either never existed or I couldn't go back to. Every time I did something, opened my mouth to speak, every action set me apart from everyone else. You know I accidentally changed the weather when I was a kid? I knew they were right to call me freak. So you see, you can't take away all that and replace it with good memories. You can't heal something that's already dead.'

Nitid looked at Y/N with tears in her eyes. Y/N was instantly sorry for her words that cut to the bone and she could see that they affected Nitid so strongly that it had broken her heart. Y/N stood and walked away from the group, further down into the cave. With all her strength she summoned fire from her hands. It was still hard to do magic, but she found it grew easier with time and practice. 

She quickly realised someone was following, and turned to see Brokkr walking over holding his hands up wanting but a moment of her time.

'You know, as much as your mother deserved that, we don't.' Brokkr scolded. Y/N Scoffed, 'Why the hell do you care. As far as I am aware, your business here is done. You got your precious revenge and now you can leave. It seems Brokkr, that at every turn you have been there interfering with my life.'

'It is true, I have gotten my revenge on Loki. Thanos has done what I could not. But you are a different matter. I guess what I am saying, is that in my old age... I have grown a tad soft. It happens to the best of us. Besides, you were such a sweet little baby and child, I would hate to see your future destroyed because on one eensy teensy fallout between Loki and I, Pssh! And a future I can benefit from'