Benjamin Tallmadge x reader

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BENNY BOI TIME

I'm trying smut again (because this was a request) so let me know if you liked it!

18+ please, enjoy folks!

[fls/n] = false name

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You and Benjamin were always close. You knew each other since you both were children. You always liked him but pushed those feelings aside, you always figured he liked you as a friend, nothing more than that. You sometimes wanted him to be more but you worried that he may never come around to liking you. You shut down any feeling you could have for anyone. Built a wall around your heart, a comfortable numbness and nothingness. Empty. It was most useful, especially once the war came. You really did finally set any affections aside that you had for Benjamin. Buried it.

Benjamin, along with Caleb ran off to join the Continental Army, and you soon followed suit. Dressed as a man with a fake name. You just had to avoid Ben, and for a while you did, till one day he returned alone after himself and his Dragoons were ambushed. You were assigned to join his new Dragoons. So much for avoiding him. You cut off some of the ends of your hair and dipped it in wax and placed it onto your face and set with colored powder. Perfect you now had a mustache and beard. 

For months you went unnoticed. It was perfect. But, you had a feeling Brewster might catch on that Private [fls/l/n] was really their [y/f/n]. You were in the back but Caleb liked to walk around a bit while Ben stood at the front giving orders, instructions, and other such things. Caleb would walk around for a solid week making occasional eye contract with you, you would look away but soon figured out he knew exactly who you were. "Dismissed!" Ben ordered, you all went your different ways and Caleb chased after you. You tried to speed walk as fast as you could but Caleb speed walked faster and was right Infront of you walking backwards looking at you with that cheeky grin of his. "Well will you look at that, [y/n] grew a beard, not as good as mine though." He laughed while stroking his own beard. "Caleb."

"How did you do that by the way?"

"Caleb. I-" you sigh. "Are you going to tell Ben?"

"Not as long as yah tell me how you grew that crap of a beard." You both stopped walking. "I cut of the ends of my hair and used wax to put them on my face and set it with powder to stay on my face and not fall off."

"Interesting. I am gonna tell Ben tough."

"Caleb! Please don't." You grabbed his arm. "You know how he will get."

"Protective. Like when we was kids... He will likely have me watch you all the time."

"That is right!" you went with Caleb's train of thought. "That means less time with the Ladies. They wont be able to enjoy that beard of yours." Caleb thinks in silence stroking his beard. "Still gonna tell him." 

"Caleb!" You follow after him as he approaches Ben. You stop a bit, maybe Caleb was pulling on you leg and wasn't gonna tell Ben. "So, has Washington said anything about-" Caleb was pulling your leg. You turned around and made way to your tent. 

After some time Ben was quick to connect the dots even though you tried to hide and blend into the background. Once he did figure it out he called you aside and lectured you. You told him you were staying. He didn't like it but you brought him around and Caleb was good help. Ben would be by your side most often. You knew he was just worried but you wanted some privacy. You were a soldier, just as much as he was. 

Ben gave you some space but he often would see you in your tent. He liked to talk to you and you found he enjoyed your company. He told you he just liked to be around you, and you found you liked it too. Ben seemed more happy around you. But you needed some space, some room to breathe. 

"Ben. You are my greatest friend. I care about you, but, I need some space. I don't need to be watched over like some child."

"What? I'm not watching over you like your a child. I am just worried."

"'Worried?' You are clinging to me, Ben. I am an adult. A soldier, I know what I'm doing!"

"That is not the issue!"

"Then what is Ben? What is the issue?"

"The issue is that I love you and want you safe!" He yelled. There was a pause.  "I love you."

"Why? Why did you have to fall in love with me? Why would you make me feel things? I have felt nothing for years and was comfortable! Why did you have to make me feel? I built a wall around my heart and you just had to come in and chip it away, break it down brick by brick! I now live in fear- anxiety that at any day I could loose you! That at any point in time this war or God knows what else will rip you from me! You have me, Ben. All of me... You have my heart..."

He looked at you with sadness in his eyes, but the love inside them never left. All he could say was those three words again, the words that broke you. "I love you, [y/n]." You fell to him and held him close in a tight hug. "I love you too... So much...So much, Ben." You pull away and look up at him. His warm smile comforts your aching heart. "I love you, Ben." You both lean into each other for a kiss. When your lips touched it was like the rest of the world disappeared around you. It was just you and him floating in nothingness. 

Over time you would pull aside and try to connect with each other. To have a singular moment alone to kiss. And this was such an occasion but you felt something burning inside you. Something different, a change.

Ben slowly pulled away from his kiss. Your eyes still closed, he looked at you up and down. You felt his presence getting closer, you thought he was going to kiss your lips again, you gasped when you were caught off guard by him kissing your neck. Your hands traveled his body, up his back and clenching his coat with one hand as the other continued its travels up to his head and pulled on his hair. He began to remove your cloths from your body and you to his cloths. You were in just your blouse and his hands traveled to your breasts, he rubbed on them still kissing and sucking away at your neck. "Ben..." he pulled away from your neck and looked at you. He laid you down and kissed your neck once more and kissed down to your breasts. "Ben." you gasp.

He continued to kiss your breast as he rubbed the other. You moaned softly as the hand on your breast traveled down to your downstairs. He began to rub slow circles around your clit, teasing you. You held his back and then clenched his hair. "Ben I~"

"I know." He whispered as he began to rub your clit, you got wet and he played with your wetness and rubbed his fingers up and down your folds. He slowly circled one finger into you and soon another. You kissed his neck as he continued "Ben. I'm ready." Ben lined himself up and looked at you. You gave him the look that said it was okay and his tip slowly began to enter into you. Your back arched and head fell back as you gasped out, he then continued faster into you and settled. He then began to move slowly and began to pick up the pace. He still continued to kiss your neck as you clenched your hands on his back. Moaning each others names softly. You found a pace that excited you both and kept that flow and soon with one finally strong nip/kiss of the neck you came around him and right after him in you. 

He slowly pulls out and lays next to you but his arm and leg were on your body. You held your chest and were left breathing-gasping for air. He rose a bit resting on his forearm and brushed hair from your face "That was-" you smile, "Wonderful." he finished. "I love you."

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