A KING'S OBSESSION | JM

27

Jimin

"Are you out of your mind?" My mother instantly slams her hands on the table and stands up, making a drama out of my rejection towards Anne. I roll my eyes. "Do you even know what you're talking about? Making her a queen would complete half of your journey as the king of Silverville!" She complains caressing her forehead frustratingly while she looks down, done with my bullshit. The guests, Anne, and her mother left earlier. 

I roll my eyes at her current state. I've never hated my mother more than I do right now at this moment. She makes me angry. She makes me so angry. My mother sighs and takes off her hand from her forehead and looks at me, obviously pissed. 

"And? Talk. Who's your so-called lover?" She asks me through gritted teeth, her eyes piercing into mine. What's her problem? I'm old enough to choose who I want to marry or not. I look at her coldly. "I don't think you deserve to know it," I respond and take off my cloak, placing it on my neatly made bed. 

Mother takes a deep breath. "You know what. I'm done with you Park Jimin. Don't consider yourself my son," She steps out of my room slamming the door shut before I finally let it all out. I put my face in my hands, letting the tears do their job and letting all the tears fall. 

I'm so done with my life. So done. 

I must admit that I miss her. I miss her so much. Life just doesn't feel the same without her. What am I supposed to do? Y/N hates me. She doesn't want to see me. I run my hands through my hair. I can't believe I'm in love with her. How did I realize that just now? After my mom asked me, who my secret lover is, I couldn't help but not to tell her. To protect Y/N with all that I have. I can't even believe what I'm thinking. 

I've never been in love. My parents taught me to be cold and heartless, but still, help the residents and poor people who are living in Silverville. Both mom and dad were always pretty strict. My mother hit me and punished me often for doing tasks wrong. My dad was better than her though. He might've been strict but he didn't hit me when I did something wrong. He taöked with me about how to do that specific task, right. 

I've always loved my dad more than my mother. I wonder why he even married such a cruel woman like her. I need some time and space to process all of this right now. Should I just end myself? No, I need to stay strong. Not for her, but for myself. 

The fresh and pleasant wind blows my hair, a feeling of euphoria spreads inside of me. I suddenly feel happy again. I make the horse stop galloping and get off of it. I tie its bridle around a tree and walk over close to the sea, once again after a long time. 

I was here with Y/N and this place suddenly became a better place for me to visit. I sit down, trying to calm myself and enjoy every second of freedom I have here. This is the place I kissed her for real. The kiss was filled with s much love, I still remember those full and soft lips on mine. 

It was as if her lips finally found their home. I miss her so much. I regret treating her like that. For making her feel miserable and for making her cry herself to sleep. I always heard how she sometimes cried herself to sleep after we had sex.

I heard every whisper. Her I love you's and yet I pretended that she didn't love me or I don't love her. But I was wrong every time I tried to figure out what's wrong with me. I love that woman more than anything else in this world. And I'd kill everyone, so it's just me and her on this earth. That'd be so peaceful. 

But that's only something I can dream of. 

I look to my right, imagining her sitting right next to me, laughing with me, and just enjoying each other's presence. I can feel the tears already building, but I manage to hold them back. I wonder how she's doing right now. Is she happy? Is she feeling sad? 

Thinking about her feeling hurt makes my heartache. But what can I do. She's with Taeyhung. Someone she loves, right? Someone who cares for her and someone who's capable of killing her without thinking twice. He's the heartless one and not me. 

I wish I hadn't taken her for granted. I wish I used the precious time I had with her before. I could've been happy with her by now. I'm stupid. Super stupid.  I could've made her feel happy, safe, and loved. I want to be her man. I regret everything I've done. 

I hope that God gives me a second chance. A chance for me to use and make her happy forever. To marry her and make her my woman, my queen, and the idol for all those kids in Silverville. To finally make her feel happy. 

I can't even believe myself. I never expected to ever think like this. 

I sigh and look at the sunset, which makes the water sparkling. It looks beautiful. 

I hate myself. 

I hate myself so much. Why did I do that? Why why why? I feel like screaming. I feel like killing every single one coming my way and wanting to take her away from me. I want to kill Taehyung. I want to end him. I want to take down his palace and take Y/N with me. 

But how am I supposed to do that? I can't. I wish I could though. 

I don't want to hurt her. I'll kill myself if that happens someday. Y/N is an angel. She doesn't deserve someone as cruel as me. She deserves someone better. 

Hi guys, 

you might have wondered why I didn't post for quite a while. Well, I fainted because I didn't have much blood left, so someone donated their blood to me. I'm finally home, but I have to go back to the hospital for two days. I apparently have trouble breathing during nights, when I'm asleep and the doctors want to see if that's normal or not. So please wish me luck. I try to post a chapter before going to the hospital though. Thanks for waiting. I love you :)

- R.P