Alpha - Book 1

Sanity ✔️

Yoongi's POV

"I love you." I said, feeling a little sad, cause she refused me to reciprocate what she did to me, after she made me come a second time and after she cleaned me up again, this time without incident. I wish I had done something too, but she waved it off and we sat back down on the bed.

- I love you too Yoongs , more than you can imagine.

"Actually, I can imagine." I replied, feeling her arms wrap around me in a bear hug." You grew up, and you're so strong, I mean you always were, but now you've even got muscles." I spoke stroking her back, feeling her body tense under my touch.

- I know, right? We were almost the same size a few years ago and now I am the same height as Jin. Isn't it amazing? But it's been almost a year since I grew an inch, I don't think I'm going to grow anymore.

"I kind of don't like it.. I mean, I think you're perfect, and the only one bigger than you now is Namjoon, but you're still twice as fast and strong as him, and that makes me a little frustrated." I replied, feeling her tightening around me loosen, making me regret it immediately after I finished speaking.

" Frustrated? " She said sitting up looking a little lost and hurt, my wolf was disappointed in me for making her sad just as I was, for not having expressed myself correctly.

"Not with you, with me". I said sitting across from her holding her face in my hands feeling my pulse quicken as her face flushed slightly under my touch. " I wanted to be as strong as Jin, or as tall and smart as Namjoon, as fast and smart as Hoseok, but I'm just me. And seeing you this strong, tall, beautiful, soo perfect..You seem to have been made by the hands of the goddess herself, it makes me feel like I don't deserve to be by your side. I mean , look at me , even Jungkook is better than me and he is an omega , you know ? He is supposed to be smaller, fragile, why is Jungkook so strong by the way?!"I said, feeling somehow lighter, but my heart felt heavy. The only thing I could think of is " what if she accomplishes, as I already did, that I am not necessary nor have an important enough position for her?" She's just perfect, just like everyone imagined she would be, and I don't know if I'm worthy, and after what I heard about her...How can I be part of something so important, being a regular wolf?

" It's not that I'm not proud of having such a good and strong brother, I just feel out of place, and lately I've been jealous of him, when before he was jealous of me, of us. Jungkook and Jimin used to complain all the time that you were always with me or Taehyung, when we weren't all together, but lately I didn't even have that to comfort myself".I said, feeling stupid for having destroyed the good mood we were in before.

Y/N's POV

He looked sad and the way he spoke he seemed to be torturing himself with those thoughts for a long time. How can he think like this of himself? Everything he was saying was making me really upset, sad, confused and honestly I wanted to give him a good spanking for talking like that, he is my best friend, I gave him my first kiss, did he forget that?

- I'm sorry, I...

"Bull shit, What the fuck are you talking about Yoongi, can't you see that you're offending even THE MOON GODDESS, will you say she doesn't know what she does too?" I asked letting out all the feelings that were overflowing inside me at once, but before I could continue I realized that he was crying, with his head down as he seemed to shake a little.

I hadn't noticed that I was using my "alpha tone" with him until I saw my reflection. My eyes were red, and my wolf was furious with me for making him cry and because he thinks that way about himself, well I was furious with myself.