Chapter 4

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People always say that the greater the storm the brighter the rainbow is, but what if you have no rainbow. You know what I mean, that everything just hurts so much that you don't even know if you will ever be happy again, the rainbow. I don't think I'll ever get to experience my rainbow. I'll be dead by then, either my 'parents' took it too far or on the street while walking 'home' because the neighborhood isn't the best to say the least or what if I just ended it myself. I know that I won't be able to do this for much longer. The mental pain is so much worse then the physical.

Even though people will say that nobody deserves this, I feel like I do. That it's my fault that they are like this. That I deserve the pain. The pain...the pain it also helps me you know. It makes me feel something other then mental pain or when times get harder and I just don't feel anything anymore. I don't feel happy or sad, no, I feel....nothing. I don't feel anything, I will wake up and I think really...I have to do this all again, the pain that's all I can feel to just help me sometimes. That's why I also like the pain, it helps-

"Miss. Williams, what's the answer!" the teacher miss. Day (math) yelled.

Probably because I wasn't paying attention to class, too deep in thought.

"w-what" I asked confusion clearly written on my face.

"the answer, what's the answer on the board" She said with an annoying expression on her face.

" oh euhm.." I looked to the question on the board.

easy

"you don't know it do you, pay attention, detention for you, Williams!" she yelled again before starting to teach again.

I raised my hand hesitantly in the air, the bitch already gave me detention what else can she do, maybe if I prove her wrong she'll let the detention slip.

"miss..-" I asked waiting for an answer

"what!" she sneered at me.

"the answer, I know it"

"well come on then" she said while starting to get angrier and more annoyed.

"the answer is that, x is equal to 753" I said

Her eyes went wide "w-what how"

Her face became even more angry before turning around and starting her teaching again.

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ring ring ring

I started packing my stuff and waited until everyone was gone and also walked out.

People in school don't talk to me, I don't want them to though. I made that pretty clear when some girl started bullying me a year ago. I wasn't having it so I may or may not have slammed her head into a locker. I'm sorry but what she did was not okay like at all.

Well let's just say, nobody bothered me after that anymore. I did get a beating at home, but it was worth it.

I'm quiet in school, I don't talk if I don't have to. I don't like talking, I like to observe more, that's how you get to know someone and their intentions. Everyone knows me as the quiet girl because of that, and I don't mind...as long as they leave me alone and have respect I'm okay.

They don't bother me, and I don't bother them. Ever since that locker incident it's also clear that if they did, they would know what would happen. They're scared and hurry away from me or lower their head when I walk by. It's not like I asked them to, but it's handy, nobody annoys me and I can just be at peace for a few hours before going to 'hell hole number one'. I can stand up for myself, just not with my 'parents', they make me feel powerless and I can't do anything about it. Me and all the teachers are all able to get along except for miss. Day. I don't know what her problem is but I can't stand her.

As I'm walking into English class, the teacher smiles at me, I give him a fake smile back and go sit down.

30 minutes go by, and I'm soooooooooooo booooreddddddd.

"okay class, now for the rest of the lesson you're going to make a reading comprehension. You can work at it at home if you aren't done by the end of class. So you'll give it to me next lesson." He announced while passing out the papers. Most sighed and started complaining until the teacher shut them up.

I started working, but not even 5 minutes later I get called to the principal office. I started to pick my stuff up.

If this is because of miss. Day then I'm going mad. This has happened a few times already miss. Day goes complaining about me not paining attention and blah blah blah. But it's not like I'm not having good grades or anything, hell if I do, man it won't end well.

Because of miss. Day, me and the principal (mr. David Brown) have become, what do you call it?...it's like were friends you know it's quite funny actually. He is the only person I really talk to.

I walk out of class to the principal's office.

The secretary nods at me, indicating for me to go in.

I walk straight in not even seeing the people in the back of the room.

I went to sit down while talking. "Hey David-" hates it when I call him that but I know he likes it even if he won't admit it. "-if this is about miss. Day again then I'm going mad. I swear I was just thinking and then she yelled at me for not paying attention. Then asked me to answer the most difficult problem in the book, which was easy by the way, and answered it right. But still because I 'wasn't paying attention' she gave me detention. Can you believe that" I said dramatically while doing the air quote thingies and shaking my head at the end.

Mr. Brown looked at me while chuckling at my antics before giving me a pitiful look. I hate no I despise it when people give me pity, it's makes me feel weak.

"why..why are you looking at me like that. You know that I hate it when people give me that look."

A cough from behind me made me turn around. Holy mother of Jesus Christ. Why are there..hold up...11 people behind me. 2 of them wearing police uniforms one female and one male, then 8 guys/men of them in a suit and the last one a woman just in a black plain skirt that comes to the knee with a beautiful top and a matching black blazer on top of it, while wearing heels and a bun in her hair.

"di-...did I do something?" I asked looking back at mr. Brown while my anxiety started acting up causing me so fidget with my necklace that I have had as long as I can remember. I don't like being in front of new people let alone talk to them. I have terrible anxiety because of my parents, I always think people will hurt me. In any kind of way may it be physically or mentally. I don't trust people let alone let people in. I get anxiety attacks, but not in front of anybody. When being with people I don't show any weaknesses because if you do and let people in they hurt you, so I don't and keep strong. In times like this when my anxiety acts up I fidget with my necklace it gives me some kind of....comfort.

"miss. Williams, I am sorry to inform you that your 'parents' have died in a car crash earlier today" Mr. brown told me while doing the same air quote thingies I did earlier on parents. What does he mean by this, hold up, hold the mother f*cking horses....

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