Chapter 14

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Trigger warning

After everyone leaves dad and I walk to the living room. I look at him with a questioning gaze, hiding the fear.

He looked at me some longer, not knowing what to say.

He came closer and brought me in his embrace.

"Ooh principessa I'm so sorry"

"Why"

"For everything that happened, you being kidnapped and just everything. I don't know what happened there and I know eventually when you trust us more you'll tell us. But I'm sorry"

"Why you don't have to be sorry, it's not your fault that I was kidnapped."

"I know but still, it hurts baby. I didn't protect you like I should have. I wasn't there for you"

"Dad, don't say that, you're here right now, right. That's all that matters."

He sighted, "I guess.....I promise on my life principessa that I'll protect you. I can't lose you again" I felt some tears land on me, I quickly wiped them away, comforting him.

"Are you okay now baby, from the panic attack" he asked after we both calmed down a bit.

"Yes, I'm good. It's noting"

"Baby, it's not nothing."

"Dad, I'm okay, Sandro helped me."

He gave me a small sad smile in response.

We stayed in each other's embrace, "I'm sorry for Blake, he changed a lot when you were gone. Allesandro and you were the closest, but after him it was Blake baby. He loved you more than anything, he still does. He got really hurt, and closed himself of. He's never been the same again, I think he doesn't want to get close again because that's a way he could get hurt again." Dad sighted out in a sad voice.

"It's okay, I'm not mad at him, he's just hurting, you can see it in his eyes."

We kept quiet for a few moments until we both agreed to now go to the office, to 'talk'.

———

We walked in the office and my eyes landed on Blake. He was grouched up in a corner, head down, body shaking from sobs. You couldn't hear them though, the sobs I mean. Our eyes connected, it broke my heart. His eyes red and puffy, so much pain inside them. He-

"Baby sit down" dad said. So I went in one of the chairs in front of his desk. Dad sat opposite from me, while my brothers except for Blake sat on the couch and some chairs.

"Now,-" dad started. "- about what happened during breakfast....who's going to start." He raised an eyebrow, looking intimidating.

Nobody answered, not knowing what to say.

Eventually Xavier spoke up. "W-wel, euhm, we were just eating and then Val had enough. Blake saw her stop eating. So he asked her about it and she said she was full."

Xander continued " Blake asked her how she was full because she had only eaten half a waffle, which she didn't even knew was a waffle until we told her.-" well I guess Xander is good at snitching. "- She exclaimed she was full, he pushed her in telling how she was already full, because of that she said because she already ate yesterday, when she said that her eyes widened and slapped her hand on her mouth."

Xavier "Blake yelled, 'what' ,where she just played it of then said it again, Blake told her because the last time she had eaten was yesterday, she needed to eat now. She said she ate then they argued about the fact that she hadn't even eaten half a waffle."

Xander "He said that the size didn't matter from the waffle and yelled and I quote 'yesterday you ate 1/4 of your pasta, do you even eat!' Because he was getting frustrated, gaining the attention of you guys. She was taken back by his comment, "

Xavier " exclaimed that she does eat, he asked her when, she said that she just ate in front of him or something. He said he meant with those assholes, than said she was skinny as fuck began to name what she only could eat without being full. Then he said 'So I'm going to ask you again, when do you eat?!!' He was angry which was scaring her"

Xander " she began to shake while her breathing picked up and said stop. He yelled, 'No answer the question.!!' She said that she didn't know when, which made him yell 'WHEN!'. He stood up scaring her even more walking closer."

Xavier "than she answered his question before full on going in panic attack mode. I didn't hear her answer though I was too far away, maybe Xander did he was right beside her."

I was amazed by how well they remembered the interaction.

Everyone was glaring daggers at Blaze the whole conversation, the more he heard from what happened, he got more and more scared, uneasy, afraid,...I don't know.

"Wtf blaze, you are so-" Lorenzo began but got cut off speaking when Blake exploded..meanwhile I was looking in Xander's eyes pleading that he will not tell them.

Blake stood up anger overtaking him mixed with sadness "look I'm sorry okay, I-I'm sorry for what happened. I didn't mean for it to go that way. I was just worried and I couldn't -I can't. This is all my fucking fault.-" tears were falling down his face. "- I'm sorry for being mean, I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for pushing her away. I'm sorry for pushing everyone away, but I can't get close, I-I can't - I-I won't. If I do the-then -I"

"THEN WHAT BLAKE, don't you understand what you're doing, you're hurting the people you're supposed to love. Why-why can't you get close, why don't you let us in" Elijah cried out. Everyone was beyond shocked by Blaze's outburst, they've never seen him like that. They've only seen them angry or cold.

"BECAUSE I CAN'T!!!! I can't handle the pain, the pain of losing people. It hurst so much that I-I can't even breathe. -" he fell to the ground. I stepped forward hugging him, comforting him. Motioning the rest to sit down and let me handle it. "Why, tell me."

"- When you left, I-I was devastated. I-I closed myself off, let the anger win - so that way I could make sure that I'm not going to get hurt again okay. I was crying alone hiding, not sleeping. My anger got worse over the years but the pain stayed the same. Now that you're finally back, I-I (his voice broke) I can't get close to you or anyone. I can't because, w-what if you leave again. I wouldn't and couldn't handle that. I don't want to feel the same pain again, so I close myself off. I push you away like the others, so I don't feel the pain of losing again. But i-it doesn't help, it hurts pushing y'all away. I-It hurts more th-than a-any-anything" he completely broke down.

I looked around at the others who were crying or had tears in their eyes. Never knowing that their little/older brother felt this way.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he cried out.

"Sh sh you're okay, let it all out." I rubbed his back, comforting him.

After a few minutes the crying turned to sobs. Dad came over, this time I let him, and took Blake over from me.

They just stayed in each other's arms while dad said some things to only him which we couldn't hear, making him relax.

I looked at the others, tears falling down their faces so I walked up to them, hoping I could comfort them.

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