The Long Lost Mafia Princess

Chapter 39

I woke up in Allesandro's arms, but I didn't want to get up so I just cuddled further into him.

Allesandro was gently rubbing my back up and down.

After my breakdown I probably fell asleep.

"Good afternoon baby" Allesandro said.

"Good afternoon" I mumbled back.

Even though I didn't mean to share any of the information that I did share, it kind of helped.

It's like a huge weight fell of off my shoulders.

I feel a little better, but not much unfortunately.

"Bambina, we need to talk to you." Allesandro said before picking me up and placing me in a different way on his lap so that I could still see everyone.

I took a deep breath, "about what?" I then asked.

He gave me a look knowing that I probably knew about what, but was just playing dumb.

I looked down but he lifted my chin making me meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry" I apologised.

"For what?" He asked in a gentle sweet tone, I've only heard him talk in that  tone of voice to me.

"Everything, you guys found me after so many years and all I do is cause more problems." I said hearing my voice break a little.

"Oh baby, you don't bring us problems. We love you and we'll always do, okay" I nodded my head hesitantly.

"Now, I need you to be honest, this is all important. When do you have the nightmares and flashbacks?" He asked.

"Nightmares, every night unless I'm sleeping with someone I feel safe with. The flashbacks, I don't really know. Some things can just trigger some stuff for me and most of the time I go in panic mode, then the attacks come." I answered back truthfully.

I want to try for them, I need to try to get better.

"Okay, from now on you'll sleep with one of us every night until you think that you'll be able to sleep alone. If you have a panic attack or begin to get signs of getting one or from anxiety, I want you to come to one of us too, so we can help"

"But I-.." I didn't want to say it out loud.

"Come on, you can say it"

I swallowed before answering, "I don't..I don't want to bother y'all even more by coming to you for help" I said

"Baby, you're not bothering us, okay. We will try this for about a month and if it helps we will keep doing this, otherwise we'll look for other options." I just nodded my head.

"Now, you're self harm. I know that that's your only way of coping right now, but maybe we can try different things and ways to help. Maybe talk to one of us about it, but I know that talking in those situations doesn't help always either. So maybe we can look up some different things for you to try as a way of coping. Do something you like maybe, you can do it with one of us in the room or alone. Reading, watch a movie, working out can be one, it's good to built up some muscle, distracts you and is good for you're health. There are many things you can do to distract yourself.

I know that it will not be easy to just stop but, with time it will get better. There is a chance that you'll relapse, but that's okay we will still be here and not leave you, okay."

"Okay" I whispered.

"I think I can help with the self harm for Val a lot." Blake said suddenly.