Book 2 chapter 4

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I look back up from my scars to look in the mirror when I heard someone step in the room.

"Hey Val we-" Roman stopped talking when he saw the state I am in.

I only felt the brick in my throat growing while I tried to cover as much scars as I could with my hands.

I turn back around and walk further into my closet while I started talking, "I know I look terrible, I'm going to change really quick then we can leave." I say barely auditable while I heard my voice break a couple of times.

Saying that seemed to snap Roman out of his thoughts. He shook his head a little before he walked too me.

"No, you're not going to change" he stated.

I look at him questionable for a few seconds before I start talking, "yes, I am. I look horrible" I tell him, then I turn towards my dresses and start searching for another one.

Roman turned me back towards him, "you don't look horrible"

"I do" I speak with tears in my eyes.

"You don't, why would you even think that?" He asks clearly shocked and disagreeing with what I'm saying.

"Because-..." I sighted and look back down at my scars.

I start to trace my self harm scars and a few scars that others have given me.

I take a deep breath, not wanting to burst out in tears. Then I look back up at Roman, "I just can't wear this, okay"

"Why?-" he asks and when I don't reply he continues "-why can't you wear this?"

I still don't answer and look anywhere but at him.

"Val?" He asks concerned, trying to get my attention.

Eventually he grabbed my chin and made me look into his eyes, "why can't you wear that dress?"

He's begging me with his eyes to tell him the truth so eventually I give him it, "my scars" I say right above a whisper while I felt more tears filling my eyes.

It was like I could see his heart break as I look into his eyes. As if what I was saying broke him deeply.

Roman didn't say anything, he just pulled me into a tight hug.

"Oh Val" he said softly while a little sob escaped my mouth as he rubbed my back.

After a couple of minutes of standing in each other's embrace, he let go and pulled me back towards the mirror.

Not wanting to see what I saw moments before, I look down at the ground.

"Val, look up" he commands.

"I don't want to" I tell him.

"Look up love" he says.

Hearing the nickname 'love' my eyes immediately shot up in shock.

"Good" he muttered as he hugged me from behind.

"Look in the mirror and tell me what you see" he says softly his breath almost hitting my ear.

Hesitatingly I look at myself.

"I see you and me" I answer back.

"No Val, I mean what do you see when you look at yourself?"

"Ugly scars littering my body" I whisper hoping he doesn't hear me.

He hummed, not in agreement but in an acknowledgment kind of way; to say, okay.

"Want to know what I see?" He asks

I shrug my shoulders still wanting to change out of this dress.

"I see a beautiful, strong girl. A girl that has survived unimaginable things. Who has survived all kinds of cruelties that this world brings. A girl that, yes has battle scars. But those battle scars aren't ugly, they are there to show you and everyone around you that you survived. That you made it and are still here and alive. You're beautiful Val, your smile can light up anyone's day. You are amazing, you are so much stronger than you think. More beautiful than you think, worthier than you believe. You are more loved than you can even start to imagine. You surviving had left some scars but that doesn't make them ugly. And if other people outside can't see that then that is not your problem, it's theirs. They don't know what you've been through, they don't know anything about you Val. They can't judge you for survival." He tells me before giving me a small kiss on one of my scars on my collarbone.

I say nothing, I just stare at him through the mirror.

"If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Only then would you realize how special you really are to me...and all the others around you." He finishes talking before turning me back around and hugging me tight to him.

I snap out of my daze and hug him back tighter then I've ever done before.

After another few minutes we released each other, "come on your family is waiting downstairs" he says while reaching out his arm for me to take.

"Thank you" I answer back while taking his arm.

We start to walk out of my room to the staircase together arm in arm.

My heart started beating faster knowing my family will see me with so many scars on display.

"Just breathe Val" Roman instructed me while bringing me a little closer to him.

I begin doing some breathing exercises that I've learned over the years to help me calm down a little.

"Okay, we can go" I speak up before we start walking downstairs.

As we walk down I hear my parents and brothers downstairs talking to each other.

My heals' sound coming down on the floor echoes a little through the hallway.

When we finally arrive downstairs the room fell pretty much quiet.

I don't dare look up, not wanting to see their faces.

I don't really know what to expect for a reaction.

I think they're going to be shocked to say the least.

I just hope that they aren't as disgusted with them as I was before. I mean I still don't like them and I'd rather cover them but I do feel kind of better with what Roman said.

The only thing that can be heard in the room is everyone's breathing.

Until dad broke the silence, "get your hands off of my daughter's waist boy."

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