The Long Lost Mafia Princess

Chapter 9

Trigger warning: Ed, anxiety

The dining table was seated with my father at the head. With on the right of him Allesandro-Lorenzo-Blake-Xavier. Then to the left of him Elijah-Antonio-Xander-me. Across from me is Xavier while next to me is Xander. Left to me there was the other head of the table, probably where mom would sit.

Where could she be? I don't want to ask about her, what if they become mad or some shit. I don't want to deal with that. They're giants who are muscular with tattoos and scary and intimidating.... . Y'all know what I mean.

Dinner got served, pasta...never eaten it before. I looked at the others and they all started eating. I'm hungry but I wouldn't dare to eat without permission. I remember one time my kidnappers served food in front of me. I without thinking, took a bite from it. I got one of the worst beatings of my life and couldn't walk for a few days. I know that that time I should've remembered rule number 2 'don't eat any food from our house, if you want to eat go look in the trash'.

We all knew I would die without food so every once in a while I looked trough trash from the neighbors and ate from that. I couldn't do it too often or people would notice. Amy and Atlas would also give me food but well that was also some time ago.

Even though I haven't eaten in over a week, I'm used to the hunger. I'm used to it. I know I can't eat. And I for sure knew that if I had to face a beating tonight that I not only would probably get the worst one in my life but that I probably won't be able to survive another one in my state right now.

I looked down at my hands and played with my fingers and necklace, trying to shoot the still almost erupting anxiety. My heart was going like I've just ran a marathon. I could feel my legs start to shake and bounce while I got random shivers trough my body.

"Valentina, why aren't you eating. Don't you like the food." Xander asked, turning all the attention on me.

"I-I can eat?" I asked unsure if they were joking or not. Antonio started laughing  " good one tesoro, good one" he laughed. Some others chuckled too looking at me with an amused face.

(Tesoro- treasure)

I kept looking at them like they were crazy.

"Shit Val, you're serious" Xavier asked worriedly.

This caught the other's attention again. "Neonata, why wouldn't you be able too eat." Lorenzo asked.

Shit shit shit shit shit. I should've know that they aaaaaaaaaaaaahahhhhhh.

" I don't know-" lie lie lie lie "- maybe y'all wait for something or permission....Or something. " I kind of suggested hoping they would believe me.

They looked unsure to believe what I was saying but eventually accepted my answer. I looked at the food and started eating. Not going to lie this was good like really good I've never eaten anything this good. But after about 1/4 of eating what was on my plate...I just couldn't do it anymore. Why?
One, the words of my kidnappers were running inside my mind.
And two, I'm not used to eating especially this much, I'm genuinely full.

I looked at the others and they were all either taking extra portions or eating. Knowing that they wouldn't let me of like this. I started playing with my food. I know you shouldn't play with your food but I didn't really have another choice.

My anxiety was also not really doing it's best right now. My heart rate was still painfully fast, while I felt my chest tightening. My leg was bouncing up and down. The shivers kept coming making my hands shake too. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it buried any longer. I needed to get out of here.

I turned to Xander, " ma-may I excuse myself from the table?" I asked after hesitating for some time.

He turned to me staring, man come on..this really isn't helping. I'm just getting more and more anxious by the second. My leg was now uncontrollably bouncing. While both my hands are shaking. I could feel my breathing pick up, but tried to stay as chill as possible in front of the others. Hiding my shaking hands and bouncing leg under the dining table.

He looked from me to my plate. Then back up at me. " why, are you done eating?"

I nodded not trusting my probably shaky voice at the moment. "You haven't even ate half.-" He stated "-eat some more then you can go"

I'm really full I literally ate everything I could possibly fit in my stomach.

" I'm full" I replied, pleading to everything and everyone up there that he would let me go.

"You can't be full. You've barely eaten anything."

"In school, yeah in school before you all came I ate a lot. Breakfast and lunch. I'm really full" I tried to convince him.

He turned to the others, no, please don't let them get involved. But of course luck in never on my side and he asked everyone if I could leave the table.

" are you done eating, principessa" father asked me.

"Yeah, I'm full. In school before you guys came I already ate a lot of breakfast and lunch." Please please please.

He looked at me, clearly not believing a word I said. "Just a few more bites." He tried to convince me.
" I'm really full, and tired can I just go get ready for bed and go to sleep"
When they realized that I wouldn't start eating anymore, they let me go.

I thanked them and quietly stepped out the room. When I was out of sight, I ran upstairs without making a sound. Closing the door after me. I couldn't stop it anymore and my panic attack full on hit me.

My breathing spet up, while my whole body started shaking. I eventually fell to the floor not being able to support myself anymore. I leaned against the wall, while trying to breathe. I tried to scratch at my throat, trying to breathe. It was like my airway closed. Everything became too much, I am severely underweight and malnourished causing my body to be weaker than others. I fell completely to the ground, still scratching my neck, and then eventually passed out.