From Fat to Phat

|52| Together

RELATIONSHIP:

/rɪˈleɪʃ(ə)nʃɪp/

the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected.

Ellie's POV

Grief.
We've all felt it; that rising, choking sense of despair, of crushing loss.
We've all lived it; falling to the ground, blood draining from our faces, our throats tightening, our wellspring of tears erupting.

You would think whilst he said everything he would break down and cry or hear a hint of sadness. But instead he was emotionless and he didn't want me to look at his face. I wasn't sure why that was but then again I rarely saw him sad the only emotion he seemed to have mastered is anger. It's not that he didn't want to be sad or truly happy, it's that he couldn't because all he had known was pain and sadness and it all took the form of anger. No one was loving him all this time after he had lost his mother and his sister, no one even remotely cared to show him a life without such pain.

If he wasn't going to cry I would cry for him if he wasn't going to laugh. I would do it for him until he would be capable of such emotions himself but until then I will be here doing it for him. Because that is how much I have fallen for him enough to take his pain and make it my own.

"Don't cry." I heard him say it but I couldn't stop. He was alone this whole time he was alone.

"I have you now." As if he could read my mind, I slowly pushed his head upward so he could face me.

Even though I thought he felt no pain, his eyes couldn't lie like his voice had done, they couldn't hide the truth. In his eyes there were so many emotions even though his face was expressionless. All I could do was hug him as I continued to cry and we stayed like that for as long as we could. If only he knew how much I loved him, maybe that would make him feel better.

After minutes of silence I decided to go get him an ice pack for his cheek which had turned red because of Cameron. As I got into the house I took a couple wrong turns before figuring out where the kitchen was but on my way I found a pacing Ryan walking back and forth.

"Ryan?" He turned and looked at me, he looked really nervous.

"I thought Jacob told you to leave."

"I know but I didn't want to leave. I really want to talk to him and I'm done with Carter and the rest."

"I really have to talk to him, please let me talk to him."

"That's up to him, not me." I folded my arms as I sternly looked at him. He looked desperate and sincere; he really did look like he was trying.

"He is out at the back." I nodded towards the backyard.

"Thank you."

"He tells you to leave, you leave, you got that?" I wasn't as scary as Jacob but I did manage to muster up my best scary expression and he nodded as he thanked me again.

I hoped Ryan would mend up with Jacob; he deserved at least one friend.

***

If I've learned one thing from watching Jacob and his friends, lying once automatically leads to more lying until it's all tangled up until the friendship you've built is nothing but just heaps of lies. And I love my friends too much for me to keep lying.

Hot coffee cups placed in front of us whilst we were seated facing each other I began to pick at my finger because the nerves were getting to me as I looked at Jazz's worried face. I had dragged her all alone without the rest of our little circle.