Kill for you ✔️

thirty-six.

I felt as if I was drowning.

I couldn't dispatcher the feeling I was feeling right now, laying in his arms as he sleeps.

I wanted to cry- happy tears, and let him hold me.

I have only ever loved 2 people. 2 people who have left me.

I used to believe it was because of me. I was not a very easy person to be with.

I struggled with a past that still haunts me and it took me a long time to open up.

Even then I have not told the full truth.

They got fed up, saying I do not trust them enough to let them in- but they knew the bad trust issues I had.

My mother had no idea what was wrong with me. I would just randomly stop talking to people and ignore everything around me.

She tried convincing me to see a therapist.

When she mentioned that, I snapped.

I ran away, only coming home a week later to my mother who looked sick.

She scolded me out, telling me it was dangerous and childish of me to do.

I know it was but I always run away from my problems.

"What are you thinking about?" his deep voice break me out of my thoughts and I look up at him.

I give him a strained smile.

"You ever wish that you could fly?" I say randomly, hoping to change the subject.

His hold on me tightens warningly.

"Mars," his voice drags out and I sigh.

"I was thinking about life." I say softly, embarrassment seeping in.

I am not a person to show much emotion other than happiness and being vulnerable in front of him is making me uneasy.

"What about it?" he hums and strokes my hair, running his long fingers through it.

His fingers that went up my- Shut up.

"I- nothing. It is nothing." I shake my head and sit up, looking at him.

Seeing the look on my face, he nods and sits up next to me.

I laugh at his messy hair and run my hand through it, tugging slightly.