Timeless Snow ✓

Ch. 45 - ByeBye

It had been three days since your trip, nestled away in Chocia's Psychiatric Hospital. Not an hour went by you hadn't been thinking of that dream. The only time it felt like you weren't locked in your own head was when you slept. As your dreams had gone back to nothing more than darkness. There was peace in the simplicity of dreaming of just nothing, more so when you're worried about the nightmares. You had not had a single dream since then, which wasn't abnormal due to the medication you took. Your body felt restless and your mind raced. You weren't brave enough to bring up what was on your mind to Dr. Andrews, the fear of being stamped 'insane' and tossed in a padded room was very real. It wasn't a risk you were willing to take. The only thing good about your life was being able to see Taehyung, and if they took that away again with solitary then you worried you really would lose your mind. 

Dr. Andrew could still tell something was off with you and continued to prod. It was wearing on your last nerve, causing you to disassociate and fade him out in an attempt to ignore him.  After a few minutes of pure silence, Dr. Andrew's exhaled a long slow breath. You could smell the generic peppermint on his breath and scrunched your nose. "I suppose now is a good as time as any to tell you." He started, your eyes came back into focus as you glanced over at the doctor in question. "Now, don't get upset. These things happen. It doesn't mean I care about you any less." 

Your brows raised suddenly as your head jerked in his direction. What in the peppermint-fuck was this old man talking about? You didn't like the sounds of it already, your heart began to thump against your ribcage. Was he going to throw you away and lock the key?! "I'm retiring." He said soon after, looking at you with soft eyes and a frown. It took a few seconds, a slow boot up. "Oh thank god." You blurted out as your head fell back with a relieved sigh. "Excuse me?" His brows narrowed as his glass blue eyes peered at you through his thick glasses. Whoops. "...I thought it was bad news about my health..." With an awkward silence, you tried to make up a lie. Originally yes, that was what you had thought, but your reaction was genuine to what he meant. 

Doctor Andrews was an okay person. He was not a good therapist. Having worked with him since the beginning of your admittance, he never screamed 'compassion'. The aura he gave off always made you feel like you were an enigma to him. A puzzle that could be figured out with the right round of medication and nothing more. He tried to dig deeper into subjects you never felt mattered, and he never took your personal feelings into consideration. There was such a large age gap between you and him, nearly 50 years. You lived two entirely different lives, and he simply couldn't relate to a woman in her twenties who has to serve mental health issues. 

"I know change is hard." He started again after the silence settled. "Course." You shorted your words and spoke fast. Your body was jittery now, your head bounced in understanding. You were trying hard to hide your sudden excitement but it was leaking out in the form of restlessness. "I'm willing to stay for a few more sections if you need time to adjust." "No. Not at all." Dr.Andrew's head cocked back a bit at how incredibly fast you answered his 'generous' offer. You noticed the awkwardness start to form and added a simple. "We've been together so long, it'll be like you're always here." The memory of him would remain in this office, so your words weren't a lie. You had no plan to 'carry' him with you in your heart through, bitch, please. 

"Anyway-" He started, deciding to skip past all the touchy-feely stuff as you seemed more 'put together' than usual. You just got great news, of course, you were doing good. "Your next visit will be with a new doctor. A woman named 'Doctor Gabriella Brown'." A woman? Wow, that's new. The only women you saw in this hospital were nurses, not all of which were terrible. Your head nodded in understanding. You felt like you'd have a little bit better of a chance with someone who could understand at least the troubles of womanhood.