Timeless Snow ✓

Ch. 69 - Suffer

"You are still causing trouble for me."
"I've had enough." 

"Why is he so angry, Kasey?" Dr. Brown questioned, her head tilting softly to one side as she stared across the coffee table. Kasey felt unsure if she could trust her, but what else was she to do? She had no idea where she was, who she was talking to, or who's body she was in. 

"I broke our deal." It sounded almost childish, but this was a deal with death. There was no way Dr. Brown could comprehend the gravity of that. "He caught me... just before I got away..." Kasey started, explaining more of the story she had just told her. She likely already sounded insane, what was a little more. 

"What did he say?" Dr. Brown opted to ask, seeing no physical reaction in Kasey to indicate he had assaulted her physically. She seemed too lost in her own thoughts, reliving what was her own nightmares in real time. "He said I'd suffer for my actions..." Kasey's lip quivered as she took in a deep breath and held it tight in her lungs. She kept the tears back, not letting them shed in the face of a stranger. 

"Are you suffering, Kasey?" 

Tightening her jaw, she took in a deep breath as she raised her eyes to look around the room. Chewing on her lower lip she tried to piece together the world around her to no avail. "I don't understand why I'm here." Kasey started with composure before her guarded shell began to break apart. 

"I don't know who I am..." Lowering her head she hide her face from view as tears escaped her eyes and rained down her cheeks, splattering against her clasped hands in her lap. 

Dr. Brown sat in complete silence as she gave Kasey room to breathe and feel her own emotions before inserting herself. She waited for her breathing to calm and her cheeks to start to dry, with no thought of even mentioning the fact she had cried at all. Tears were simply an emotion, but to Kasey, her strength meant something to her, and Dr. Brown could tell from how she carried herself. 

"Well..." She started softly, placing herself back into the conversation as gently as she could. "Perhaps I can help fill in the blankets?" She offered a calm and collected solution, knowing full well that her answers had to be carefully chosen, or else she could lead Kasey to believe false recollections if she fed her information improperly. "Ask me whatever you'd like." Dr. Brown encouraged after Kasey had time to calm down. 

"Where am I?" Kasey started off simply. That answer seemed like it'd have no more than an informational impact, but she needed a second confirmation. Kasey had seen a great deal of the world during her time in her death career. She knew she was in a hospital, but hoped the good doctor wasn't going to be so literal. 

"Chocia's Psychiatric Hospital." Dr. Brown stated this was more information than Kasey expected. Knitting her brows together, she leaned forward in her seat, curious about what the answer could possibly be. "Why?" 

"Well, Why--" Despite the rude nature of your actions, Kasey quickly clarified her question. "What happened to get me locked in here? Am I locked in?" Kasey felt locked in it. It all had a uniform prison feel splashed in white. 

"You're not locked in." Dr. Brown quickly answered, shaking her head. "So, I can go home?" She asked quickly after, she didn't think she could be any more clear. There was a pregnant pause between the two of them as Kasey stared her dead in the eyes. "...No." 

"Locked in. Got it." Folding her arms Kasey started to relax again as she leaned back on the couch, she planned to stick around for answers so might as well get comfortable. Softening her dead gaze she looked over at the doctor and waited for her to get the hint as to what information she wanted. 

"You assaulted someone." Dr. Brown admitted softly soon after. Not wanting to proclaim as it to put too many emotions behind something her patient could not currently remember. 

"Who?" Kasey asked, at a loss for why she would attack anyone. She'd calmed down in her years since death. There weren't exactly opportunities to go around punching dead people. "Who do you think?" Of course. Kasey's eyes rolled as her gaze drifted off into an unimportant part of the room. 

Her hazel eyes started to glass over as she tried to search for moments in a mind that wasn't hers. Idly, she rubbed her hands together and rung her fingers as she thought as deeply as she was capable. 

"Excercise your mind!" A man's baritone voice bounced against the walls of a cramped classroom, echoing back at you from all angles and blasting in Kasey's eardrums. Time felt as though it stood in place, Kasey could feel a strong force of adrenaline find its way through her veins. 

"Or you'll end up losing it... just like Y/N. She's one more parent meeting away from being thrown into the special needs class and forgotten with the rest of the mentally incapable."

"Don't be so ignorant!" 
"The path your heading, you will lose everything!"
"Your parents will abandon their useless daughter. Your brother will give up on his ties of being your protector. Even your pathetic little boyfriend will find better."

Have you ever seen red before? Truly admired the depts of diversity in its hue? The way it darkened in shapes of ruby in the deep pools of its own color and lightened against the bright contrast of a white background when thinned. It was as if someone tossed a blanket of bright red tulle over your head and it served to elevate the anger that was burning in the pit of your stomach. White knuckles signaled the restrain you were putting in to keep your hands against something solid. The air felt thick, hot, and murky, making it hard to breathe. The intensity of that moment in time seemed so incredibly strong, that it was hard to believe that it truly happened.

It wasn't. It had been a false reality, an illusion. One that was conjured from the darkest parts of one's mind. Kasey could see the truth, somehow her consciousness could see past the persuade. Nothing that you had remembered was reality, your mind was corrupted by hallucinations that were beyond her control. A piece of Kasey's heart broke as she realized at the moment, the gravity of her actions. Nevertheless, that didn't stop the memory of what followed that living nightmare. 

With mighty strength, you picked up your desk in frustration and despair and threw it at Mr. Lee. Pity wasn't the word for what Kasey felt, it was heartbreak. Like watching a movie caused by her own actions, She watched your tormented cries as you fractured two of his ribs when you pushed him into the cement floor, shoving the metal legs of your classroom desk forward and impaling your teacher out of fear to protect those you loved most.  Not even then could you stop yourself from lunging on the man and attempting to get a clear shot of his jugular... You were ravenous,
and you were broken...

"A teacher?" Kasey finally choked out, unable to silence the lump that interrupted her words. "So you do remember?" Dr. Brown said softly, lowering her gaze as her reddish curls framed her face. "I wish I didn't..." Kasey whispered as she lowered her gaze and tried to swallow her tears. 

Once more, Dr. Brown allowed the silence to exist as Kasey calmed down. Waiting until her breathing had evened out before asking. "Why is that?" In almost a whisper. 

"I'm the reason she's suffering."