Timeless Snow ✓

Ch.74 - Remember

And like that, he was gone. The deepened shadows of the room faded with his presence, the blue crystal flames dissipating into nothing. She was left alone in the hospital room. Kasey remained there, unmoving for what felt like an hour once everything was finally over. Unable to bring herself to move as all of her brain activity was trying to process and comprehend the gravity of her situation. A car alarm outside was what buzzed her back to reality. Looking around the dead silence of her room became deafening. She needed a distraction, but her choices were extremely limited. 

Taking in a breath, Kasey settled on a shower. Her nerves rattled and even her fingers trembled from the encounter. Heading into the bathroom, Kasey stripped herself and turned the water on as hot as it could go. Standing outside the walk-in shower, Kasey waited a moment for the water to warm. She kept her eyes leveled, realizing a quite awkward thought. She was going to shower in a body that wasn't hers? But, people needed to bathe and they were both women. Kasey opted to show the body she was occupying respect as she tried to keep her vision up instead of looking down at 'her' body. It was the only form of privacy she could offer you. 

Steam began to roll out of the shower and lick at the mirror over the sink as it fogged. The shower had no door, and the floor was slopped toward a drain. The bathroom was in her private room. Curtains or sliding doors were too much risk for the patients there. Stepping a foot onto the shower mat suctioned to the floor below her, Kasey entered the water. The rapid pings against her skin brought forth memories of the rain as her hair slicked back and wettened. Leaning her head back, Kasey closed her eyes and ran her fingers through someone else's hair, trying to relish in the feeling despite that unnerving fact. Her fingers trembled against her scalp, taking in a shaky breath as she was doing her absolute best to soothe herself from Death's presents. 

 "My presence is destroying this woman." 

Kasey's words echoed in her mind the harder she tried to forget. Kasey could feel a painful ache in her chest, her words breaking her own heart at the reality of what she had said. 

"A soul may not remember the lives that they had lived prior to the one they occupied in their current space in time, but that does not mean that their soul doesn't linger inside the living body. You are Y/N. You've lived a thousand lifetimes, you just can't remember them. I told you I'd make you feel a fraction of what it's like to be aware of infinite life."

Kasey began to drift, deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole of her mind. There were even more questions now and not a single answer in sight. Kasey has existed for thousands of years. Were we ever meant to remember a previous life? Can the knowledge of our former existence be enough to make us forget to survive? 'You know only of two lifetimes and it's tearing you apart.' Kasey reiterated in her mind, was she supposed to exist beyond her own life? For a second, Kasey couldn't help but feel like a burden on this world. It was because of her that you suffered, it's because of Kasey that you were broken. It was never your fault, yet... 

No one would ever believe you. 

Beyond that dreadful feeling, Kasey had another burning question. A thought she latched on over her own self-loathing and anger. Death took her memories, he severed her link to her 'infinite spirit'. What had she done to cause such a reaction? To be the only soul that he decided to torture. Exactly how bad did Kasey's other lives piss off death? Just as Kasey felt guilty for your heartbreak and distress, perhaps there was someone beyond Kasey who felt the same toward her. Where did the cycle end? Where did it start? How long had the cycle of suffering been happening? 

Such deep thought set her on a course of no return. Quick flashes of memories began to race through her mind. It was a throbbing ache. As if someone was beating on her head with a hammer, with every pulsating blow memories bubbled to the surface.  The aftermath of attaching that teacher. Kasey could remember the first day you went to the hospital. Reaching forward, Kasey placed her hand against the wall to brace herself as she felt her head spin. She remembered the days, that turned into weeks, that turned into years. Locked away for your own protection.