Timeless Snow ✓

Ch. 58 - Talk

The following day wasn't a good one. You spent it entirely in your own head. Sick with worry and fear. You went through the motions of the day on autopilot. You knew if you missed meals they'd send someone in here to evaluate you. You ate and emptied your plate at lunch and returned to your room to sit in silence.

The visions you've been having, the vivid dreams. The time had finally come that you were left to question your own sanity. On one hand, you had some damning evidence that Kasey was a real woman who died in a car accident two decades ago. You knew how her father screamed for his little girl as she died in the backseat of his car. In those screams, you knew how much he loved his daughter. You had to question if your hatred for the rain was due to Kasey's accident. She died in the rain, yet you didn't feel hatred in your heart when you were feeling her emotions. Perhaps it's just an uncontrollable fear you gained in this life, not that you could ever remember an incident that started your fear.

You had so much proof of Kasey's existence, half of which made no logical sense. People had mistaken you for Kasey and you had strangers call you by that name. Deep down, you remembered having such complex feelings about another life since you turned ten. It was now you had to ask yourself, had you finally lost your sanity? Was all of this was nothing more than a psychotic break? To believe the tale of Kasey Bowsers meant your final decline, a mental dilution that was slowly replacing your memories and taking your sanity in the process.

Which were you to believe? Shaking your head from the daze you looked around your plain white room. The walls felt as though they were closing in on you, the air was thick and hard to breathe. Was this also an illusion? Slapping your hands against the side of your head, you covered your ears and closed your eyes. Hoping if you muted yourself and cut off your senses that it would stop. You tried desperately to clear your head.

After a few minutes, your eyes reopened and the walls remained just as boring as they were before. They weren't closing in and the air was clear. You wrapped your arms around your bent legs and buried your head into your knees. Taking in shaking breaths, you could feel your heart still beating quickly like a drum. Were you insane? Was this it?

You didn't have Taehyung to swoop in and save you from your sanity. It was his day off. Days without him always seemed worse than the normal monotony of this place. The stress of it all caused you to forget. You had an appointment with Dr. Brown that evening. The startling knocks on your bedroom door caused you to flinch back to life. You unfurled from the ball you were in and wiped at your face to ensure the tears you shed couldn't be seen.

"Ms. Cromwell." A nurse called out before peeking her head in the room. "Dr. Brown is waiting for you." Damn. Scurrying to the edge of your bed you stood up and straightened out your hospital outfit. A long sleeve white shirt and baggy sweat pants covered your legs. "Coming" You responded as you headed for the door. Stepping out you gave the nurse a nod of thanking her for her reminder before heading down the hall to Dr. Brown's office. During your walk, you tried to regulate your heart rate and calm your nerves the best you could.

Reaching Dr. Brown's office door you wrapped your hand around the handle and pushed it open. You felt the warm air of her office hit your face first, the scent of lavender lingering from some type of air freshener. It was different, but it was nice. Dr. Brown seemed to have settled into her new workspace. You saw pictures hung on the walls, the furniture had changed, and even the lighting was different. As opposed to two chairs facing one another, she had a three-person couch against the wall nearest the door. There was one chair placed nearby but left enough distance to maintain a personal space around yourself. Her desk was nestled into the corner of the room now. You could see small frames that faced the desk chair, wondering what pictures were in those personal frames. The vibrant rug in front of the couch was the spark of color that interested you the most. The long couch was burnt leather with reddish undertones, and the rug was a vibrant swirl of rich red tones. You hadn't seen that much color in this office, ever.

"Hello?" You called out as you noticed Dr. Brown sitting at her desk. Her eyes fixated on her computer screen as she typed quickly to finish something. As soon as you spoke, her fingers froze and she looked up at you. "Good evening, Y/N." She said with a warm smile. "Good evening..." You repeated back quietly. "Please." She said as she stood from her seat and raised an arm toward the couch. "Make yourself comfortable."

Awkwardly you followed her gesture and moved toward the little living space. The frames on the wall and the color of the fabrics make it seem like a living room. A calmer space to sit and talk. As you reached the couch you noticed a thick blanket resting on the edge of the couch neatly folded. Its patterns mimicked that of a quilt but were fluffed like a comforter. It was wrapped with a blue ribbon that mimicked the color of the blanket. "I've noticed how you enjoy being wrapped up when you're here." Dr. Brown said as she grabbed her clipboard and pen before meeting you over in the living space.

"I figured it might bring you more comfort to have a proper blanket, as opposed to the plain hospital ones." Reaching her solitary seat she lowered herself down before looking back up at you with that same content smile. "I hope you'll accept the gift."

"Y-Yeah." You sputtered back as you reached out for the ribbon and pulled it to release the blanket from its wrapping. "Of course." You corrected yourself. Grabbing the blanket you let it unroll and took in the blue quilted pattern. It wasn't anything extraordinary, but it was something incredibly kind of her to do. "Thank you." You said back finally, turning to look over at Dr. Brown. You could tell she had also turned up the thermostat a few degrees when you walked in. She was taking extra steps to try and make you feel more comfortable. Something Dr. Andrews never did.

Wrapping yourself in the blanket you let your backside face the couch before falling onto it like a human burrito. You couldn't help the smile on your face as you let yourself relax in the comfort of your own blanket and the softness of the couch. Sitting yourself up, you faced Dr. Brown and looked at her for what to do next.

Taking in a breath, she looked like she had something troublesome to bring up. "Today, I'd like to talk about 'your reality.'" Her hands folded atop her clipboard and her posture remained poised. Your eyes narrowed in on her, confused about what exactly that meant. "I want to know about Sam, if you'll tell me."

Lowering your head you began to retreat into yourself. Could she tell that something was on your mind? Did you give yourself away somehow that wanted her to bring up what weighted heaviest on your heart? To tell her about Sam meant to tell her about Kasey. You weren't sure you were ready for that. Ready to risk the rest of your life inside these walls. Could you trust Dr. Brown not to do that to you?

In the silence of yourself, Dr. Brown took her pen and began to write something down. The scribble of her pen against paper slowly drew your attention. Looking up just as she finished. She pulled the paper from its place and reached out for you, holding it out for you to take.

Fishing your arm out from the quilted blanket you took the paper and gave it a once-over. It was her daily report for that day. Sighed and dated. "Though intimate conversation, I have seen progress in Y/N Cromwell's mental health." Was written as a personal note. "I don't understand." You responded as you offered the paperback.

"Telling me about your reality is progress. I know you're scared what you tell me will get back to your parents or cause you to be here longer. That's not the case. Talking about what you are going through is progress to getting you out of here. That's what I believe. I am on your side, Y/N. Please let me help you go home..."