HEADLINE ✓

TRACK 18

With (NO) love, Tyler-Jane Roberts

Over a week had passed since joining the tour. For the most part, it was easy to keep my mind off of things. There was a fast-paced schedule to life on the road, with playing a show every night and the parties that followed early into the morning. The daytime was reserved for sleeping off the horrid hangover as we drove to the next city.

However, I was not lucky enough to rest during that time. Instead, I laid awake and allowed my mind to think. That was one of the lowest points for me and my thoughts; knowing I wouldn't be able to numb the torture until nighttime. And numbing the pain away was something I happily did.

The other bands that we were the opening acts for were far more established. In fact, the boys and I were quite amazed to learn that we would be touring with them. It was only a few short months ago that we would listen to their songs on the radio. Now, we were listed as a performing act right alongside them. We were not only introduced to the lifestyle of performing but also their way of partying. Shit. They knew how to party. For a couple extra hundred bucks, I quickly learned how much better those lines of powder could feel. And after seeing Carter's face pop up everywhere with promotion ramping up for his new album, I needed all the drugs I could get my hands on.

"You alright?"

My eyes shifted to Gwen as I gave her a weak nod in response, wondering how long I had spaced out for. That seemed to become a habit of mine while sitting in the make-up chair, doing my best to sit still so I would not mess up her work.

Gwen rummaged through her makeup bag. "Since we both know that's a load of crap," she said, holding my head in place as she swiped a brush across my face, "After you fucking rock it out there, first rounds on me tonight."

I grinned. "Well, I can't pass up a free drink."

"Atta' girl."

Gwen was a lot like her uncle in many ways. Maybe that was why the two of us seemed to get along as quickly as we did. It was weird having a female friend. It wasn't that I didn't like females, they just never seemed to be around. Besides, I definitely was not the type to go out searching for a friend. Gwen, on the other hand, seemed like a perfect fit ever since Hank brought her in. At least I now had someone to spend time with outside of the three boys.

Patrick swung open the door. "Ladies," he greeted, sitting in the empty chair.

I rose from my spot, leaning towards the mirror to check over Gwen's work. It still amazed me how she made me look well-rested every time she did my makeup.

"Thanks, G."

Gwen had already turned her attention to Patrick's hair as I walked towards the bathroom.

"Pat, why the fuck is your hair crunchy?!"

I couldn't help but laugh as I heard her comment, closing the bathroom door behind me. That boy would do anything to get her attention.

I looked myself over in the mirror, fixing any last detail I could find. Turning to the side, I ran a hand down my stomach, wondering if I had too much for lunch. The last thing I wanted was for an unflattering photo of me on stage to end up online.

I looked at my phone. No texts, no calls. It was the same every night. I tortured myself every time by checking. This was all my own doing. I was mad at him over something I knew wasn't necessarily his fault. I told him not to call or reach out. He was only respecting my wishes. Yet, funnily enough, this was the one time I actually wanted a guy not to listen.