HEADLINE ✓

TRACK 20 - PART 1

With (NO) love, Tyler-Jane Roberts

The sounds of two voices having a quiet conversation were the first thing I heard when waking up. My eyes fought against the drowsiness that wanted me to keep sleeping. Then, it hit me. My head was resting on Carter's chest, my arm was draped across his waist. Shit. I had truly fucked everything up.

"Ah, there's our sleeping beauty!" Gwen's voice chimed.

"What time is it?"

"After ten. I was shocked you were still asleep when I came in."

"Morning," Carter whispered, placing a kiss on my forehead.

"Have you been up long?" I asked him, ignoring Gwen's pressing stare.

"Only an hour."

I lifted my head off his chest and forced myself to sit up. "You could have woken me up. I feel bad that you were stuck like this."

Gwen stepped towards the end of the bed. "Oh, don't worry! We kept each other company," she said. "I would've waited longer had I known the two of you were still here. But, Carter said it was fine."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Although she said the two of us, I knew she was only referring to him still being here, given our conversation last night.

"Do you mind if I grab a quick shower?" Carter asked, before showing a goofy grin, "A real one this time?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

Getting out of the bed, he turned to face me and leaned forward. His lips brushed against mine and whispered, "I really fucking love that shirt on you," before giving me a quick kiss on the lips and heading off into the bathroom.

Once the bathroom door had closed, Gwen looked around the room. "Well, there are no broken lamps or dressers, so I'm guessing you guys didn't have sex." She laughed at her own joke but fell silent once she saw my expression. "Oh, shit. You did? No wonder you slept well."

"Oh god," I groaned, letting my head fall into my hands. "I slept with him."

"How did that happen? Because before you left last night you said-"

"I know what I said." I lifted my head and quickly looked over at the bathroom door, hearing the shower running. Turning my attention back towards Gwen, I dropped the volume of my voice lower. "We were talking and I was trying to give him an easy out by asking why he bothered with me. Then, next thing I know I can't shut up and he's convincing me that I am worth it and saying all the right things and..."

"Then you slept with him."

"Pretty much."

"Shit..." Gwen sighed. "How was it?"

Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, I pondered her question for a second before answering, "Different. Good... but different."

"As in, he tried something kinky with you or-"

"No, just... different," I murmured, unable to find a word to better describe what I had felt last night. "What did you guys talk about before I woke up?"

"He just asked why you hadn't been sleeping - don't worry, I didn't say it had anything to do with him - and then we just made small talk." Noting my silence, she added, "You know it's okay to let yourself like him, right?"

I chewed my bottom lip. "It doesn't matter if I let myself," I whispered. "I can't be with him."

"If you just talked to the boys I'm sure-"