HEADLINE ✓

TRACK 37 - PART 1

STAR NEWS: THE LA DEVILS DEBUT WITH TOP 20 EP

STAR NEWS: IS TJ ROBERTS MORE THAN JUST A PRETTY FACE?

STAR NEWS: TJ ROBERTS SPOTTED WITH MYSTERY GUY AFTER WILD NIGHT OUT

STAR NEWS: WHO IS TJ ROBERTS DATING?

TJ Roberts hated her birthday.

That tidbit of information was learned after a meeting with Doctor Khan when I had asked what she wanted to do for it.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Yeah, nothing."

"It's your twenty-first birthday and you want to do nothing. Not even throw a party?"

"Nope," she said, placing the used glassware into the sink. "Every year we do the same thing. Make food, hang out and act like it's any other normal night. I don't need to throw a party just because I'm turning the legal drinking age... I've been drinking for a while. I don't need a party to celebrate it." TJ turned her attention to rinsing the dishes. "Besides, nothing feels normal anymore. I can't go to the grocery store or see a movie without it being a problem. I just... want to keep things normal. No changes. Just the same birthday like every year."

On the night of her birthday, we did exactly what she wanted. TJ, the four boys, Gwen and I all sat around in their living room, eating take-out and playing board games. It was one of the most fun normal nights I had been a part of in a while.

I had asked her if I could arrange anything for her birthday, even if it was the smallest of gestures. After some time, she finally agreed under two conditions: one, it could not be over the top in any sense of the word, and two, the night could only involve us - no one else.

Two weeks after her birthday had passed, I stood in front of my mirror, trembling with nerves.

"Do I look okay?" I asked for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Of course you do, I picked the outfit," Nadine snapped from behind me. "Now, jacket?"

I pointed to the one in her left hand. "That one is her favourite. I'll bring it with me."

"God, I love her taste. Are you sure I can't steal her for myself?"

Elijah cleared his throat. "I'm standing right here."

Nadine turned her head. "And?"

The sounds of the two lovebirds bickering with one another faded into the background as I let my own thoughts consume my mind.

Hearing myself think was a lot easier to do when sober.

I made the commitment to stop drinking - to my surprise, so did she. I feared that was why she didn't want to have a party; thinking it would trigger or put me in an uncomfortable position. Weston was the one that assured me this was normal. TJ hated her birthday and any type of celebration that would put her at the centre of attention - she always had.

Everything had to be perfect. I felt like I had to make up for the entire past month within this one night. TJ had sat by my side, through every single session, holding my hand. Any moment she wasn't promoting with the band, she was with me. I told her I'd be fine on my own, and that she needed to put her career first - but, she insisted. And every time I suggested she stop and take a rest, she would force her tight-lipped smile and say that she was fine. I worried about how much sleep or downtime she had truly gotten over the past month with everything she was doing.